


Thin Lines: Reconstruction

by KiwiCutie013



Series: Thin Lines [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue, rvb - Fandom
Genre: >:0 - Freeform, A little smut becase, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Future, Artificial Intelligence, Blood and Gore, Chorus (Red vs. Blue), Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Gambling, Grimmons, Heavy Angst, Hero Complex, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insomnia, M/M, Mercenaries, Meta Tucker, Modern Era, Multi, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Halo (Video Games), Rehabilitation, Self-Discovery, Slow Burn, Therapy, Tuckington - Freeform, War, i said so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:14:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28403841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiwiCutie013/pseuds/KiwiCutie013
Summary: Journal entry #205/Name: Agent Washington/year: 2257/time:17:30am/location: off map, somewhere on Chorus.Grey advised me to continue these, so despite my uncertainty in its effectiveness, I will.I didn’t make it in time.I figured I wouldn’t, but part of me hoped that our story would end the way a fairytale would’ve.That I’d catch him at the last second and drag him home. That’d we’d realize how stupid we were acting and fix it. Fix everything.Overcome and adapt and get through it together.But, of course, life wasn’t a fairytale.1 Year later and according to Tucker's theory and reasoning for abandoning Chorus, everything should be better for everybody. But, of course, that doesn't seem to be the case, now does it?A continuation of my Meta Tucker fic, Thin Lines! :)It's not a must-read, I'll explain what's happening in the summary, but it is a recommended read. <3
Relationships: (IMPLIED), (past relationship), AI Program Epsilon | Leonard Church & Lavernius Tucker, Agent Carolina & Agent Washington (Red vs. Blue), Agent Carolina/Vanessa Kimball, Dexter Grif/Dick Simmons, Lavernius Tucker & Artificial intelligence, Lavernius Tucker & Original Character(s), Lavernius Tucker & Sigma, Lavernius Tucker/Agent Washington, Lavernius Tucker/Original Female Character(s), Michael J. Caboose & Lavernius Tucker & Agent Washington, The Meta | Agent Maine/Agent Washington
Series: Thin Lines [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2080287
Comments: 21
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So brief summary of Thin Lines: deconstruction, in case you didn't read or don't remember ;)
> 
> When Chruch died, he split the AIs up into Tucker's mind where they continue to live rent-free. After many worrying moments where the AIs cause Tucker to hurt people, Tucker decides to spare everyone the trouble and leave Chorus altogether after stealing alien tech from an old temple. 
> 
> A year later brings us to the beginning of this story...

He didn’t know who he was anymore. 

Part of him, a big part of him, loved it. 

Loved that he could do whatever, no longer bound by any rules or restrictions or having to be looked down on by others.

He hated the looks he got back at Chorus, even if others insisted they weren’t there; they were there, he was just the only one who noticed them. Most likely because people were blinded to what wasn’t openly affecting them. 

It didn’t matter what he did. If he was making bad decisions, people looked down on him for making them, if he did nothing, people would look down on him for not addressing it, if he sought help, people would look down on him for needing it.

Which, by the way, was a big fucking deal back at Chorus. 

Everybody wanted to fucking help him, but maybe he didn’t want their damn help and maybe, if he even did want it, he’d want to get it on his own. 

Because he sure as hell wouldn’t be somebody’s project.

Someone’s “hey, look what I did! I fixed it, look how better it is now.” 

Yea, fuck that. 

But now, he wasn’t known by anybody that mattered and didn’t have any close friends, or even acquaintances, so there was nobody to let down. To look down on him. To try to “fix” him.

Nobody to impress either. 

Lavernius would admit that the transition away was a piece of cake; physically, that was. 

The AIs gave him plenty of advice on what they wanted him to do and he was able to find mindless, mind-numbing work in the rest of his free time when the fragments grew uninterested in the area he was in. 

And when both Lavernius and the AIs grew bored, they switched planets. 

Mentally; well, mentally was a different story. 

It was different not having anyone with him. 

Occasionally he’d have the opportunity to make some sort of obscene joke and turn to tell an AI, but then he realized that they wouldn’t understand.

Surprisingly, he couldn’t find himself to care too much. After all, there was nothing he could do to fix that small problem and he did choose this. Of course, it didn’t fully stop him from making sexual remarks, which were hilarious by the way.

He always thought they were funny, but, after a while, when he received little to no reaction from the AIs, he just stopped. 

And it wasn’t that he just stopped making snarky remarks, he stopped much speech altogether. 

After all, there was no point in joking or making small talk with the AIs, since they didn’t care, nor fully understand, and there was really no need to speak to them at all; since he had a quick, accessible way to communicate with them through his thoughts. 

So slowly, he grew quiet.

Focusing on the thing in front of him and following the path of whatever the AIs wanted or whatever he thought he had wanted. 

Sleeping became a ritual. 

Seven hours every night, five when traveling. 

Eating was dull, food grew uninteresting.

3 meals a day. 8am, 12pm, 5pm.

Conversation became an ‘if needed’ type situation. 

The sort of conversation that landed him at some crowded bar around 6 pm on a Friday. 

Like he was today. 

“What’ll it be?” The female bartender asked him, leaning forward on the counter; her long blond hair cascading over her shoulders as she did. 

Tucker turned to face her, uninterested as she smiled at him, biting her lip slightly. “A Coke and rum.” He answered, glancing towards the large groups of people scattered around the dimly lit bar. 

The bartender nodded as she prepared his drink and slid it over to him, returning to her previous state, her elbows leaning daintily against the bar. “Waiting for someone?” She asked, raising a curious brow. “Girlfriend?” 

Lavernius glanced over at her, giving her the bare minimum of attention as he took a sip of his drink. “Something like that.” He answered. “No girlfriend.” 

The blond looked down towards his waist, noticing the handle of his sword attached at the hip, as it always was. 

He wasn’t in the type of terrain to be armored, so he left the armor off, deciding it’d help him blend in and not cause the target to flee; whenever it was that they’d get there. 

“Are you a soldier?” She asked him, looking up at him with sharp blue eyes. 

Lavernius returned his gaze and scoffed. “You could say so.” 

“You ever killed a guy?” She questioned, her tone eager as she twirled a golden lock of hair around her finger. 

“All the time.” 

She smiled and was about to speak again when a group of guys from the corner of the bar began whistling and whooping. 

“Yo, Cassandra, you-who-” One called. 

The bartender in front of him, who he could only assume was Cassandra, looked over, rolled her eyes, and looked away as they continued calling her name. 

“I think someone would like your attention.” Lavernius told her. 

Cassandra sighed. “My shift ends in half an hour.” She whispered to him, winking at him as she turned away and flipped her hair over her shoulder. 

Tucker rolled his eyes, taking another sip of his drink. 

It was conversations like those that he normally wouldn’t want to have. But then again, he wasn’t like most people. 

People craved other human contact. 

Part of him did too, but he concluded that he liked the idea of it, rather than needing it himself. 

Lavernius looked towards the end of the bar. 

Where was this motherfucker? 

He didn’t want to be there longer than he had to and he was getting bored sitt-

“Where’s your idiotic friends?” A voice questioned behind him, his tone low and dry. 

Lavernius raised a brow, turning around in his seat and looking up at the large male standing behind him. 

Locus. 

The last time he saw him had to have been almost two years ago. 

Lavernius figured he went home or fucked off to god knows where to continue killing on command, maybe that was what he was doing now. 

Tucker let out a quiet, “Huh,” taking account of the man in front of him before quickly losing interest. 

Locus frowned, seeming unimpressed with the amount of time he had to wait for a response before he coughed, catching Tucker’s attention once again as he began turning to face the bar. 

“I said where are your idiotic friends?” He repeated. 

At first, Lavernius was confused about what Locus was talking about. Idiotic friends? He didn’t even have friends. And then it hit him that he was talking about the Reds and Blues. 

“I don't know. Not here.” Tucker shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. 

Locus crossed his arms. “What do you mean you don’t know?” He questioned. “What about the freelancer?” 

Tucker gave him the side-eye. “Probably back on Chorus.” He replied, exasperating his words in an annoyed tone at the mention of Wash; hoping Locus would take the hint. 

But apparently, he didn’t because he slid into the seat next to him and signaled a male bartender for a drink. “You really don’t know, do you?” He then questioned, not looking at him as he was served a drink. 

Lavernius looked down at the glass in his hands, watching the ice cubes bob in the liquid. “That’s what I said, wasn’t it?” 

Locus went quiet and Lavernius noted how he didn’t want to know what happened, just sat in peace for a moment. 

_ “Tell him what happened.” Something in his mind demanded. A voice sounding faintly of Omega.  _

It was the first thing the AI had said to him at that volume in a while. 

It was surprising how quickly the fragments descended into his mind, their thoughts mixing with his own until the thoughts themselves were inseparable and they had a strong grip on everything he did. 

However, this request was unexpected. 

But then again, Omega always wanted people to be aware of his presence. 

So it kind of made sense.

“You know, Church sacrificed his life because of you douchebags.” 

Locus looked over at him. “You mean Epsilon?” 

_ Omega smiled, his excitement growing at the mention of an AI.  _

At the ability for Tucker to swoop right in and say “No the AIs are with me, I mean Church.” 

It was more of Omega saying it at that point, his need to be noticed overriding into Lavernius’s own actions. 

Locus paused, placing his drink onto the bar table as he thought for a moment. “Guess that makes sense.” He concluded. “Church gave you the fragment?”

“Fragments,” Tucker corrected. “They split off, Theta, Delta, Omega, Gamma...Sigma.” 

_ Omega smiled, satisfied as he lingered towards the edge of his thoughts before seeping away, bleeding back into his mind, and leaving Tucker with an unsatisfied, irritable feeling.  _

Locus laughed, quietly and not for long, but it was there. 

Tucker frowned, irritated. 

“And so what?” Locus questioned. “Now you’re hiding?” 

Lavernius glared, glancing away and towards the end of the bar. “I’m working,” He informed. “Or waiting, unless this fucker wants to show up already.” 

Locus understood the mercenary talk right away and noted how Tucker was alone, his sword at his side, and remained quiet as he sat separated at the bar. Which he wouldn’t need to do, nor believed any AI would let him do unless he wasn’t there to enjoy himself. 

Unless he was there because he was paid to be there. 

Becoming a mercenary was the sort of wearisome job that the broken and cold-hearted sought out because they couldn’t work anyone else.

Sam knew about the Meta. Did mildly obsessive research on him after a few talks with the Counselor. He knew all about the AIs and the type of impact they could have on one’s life and while he didn’t care much about Tucker’s or any of the Reds and Blue’s lives, he was surprised to see the man in front of him and how even with the people around him, he still succumbed to manipulation. 

“So...Bounty hunting?” Locus concluded. 

“Mhmm.” Tucker agreed dully, still looking towards the other end of the bar, holding his inconspicuously. “Next stop is the Casino downtown.”

“So let me get this straight,” Locus began. “Church gave you the AIs and you decided to keep them?” 

Lavernius said nothing, not justifying it with a response. Not because he didn’t have a choice on whether or not he kept the AIs, because he certainly had the choice of trying to get rid of them or trying to work with them; but because he knew Locus already knew the answer to his question and Lavernius was not going to repeat it for him. 

He refused to humor someone like that.

“And you ran away from your loved ones?” 

Tucker nodded. “Sure.” He commented spectically, still looking towards the end of the bar as he took a sip from his glass. 

Locus chuckled, shaking his head slightly as he looked down at his own drink. “You’re starting to sound like me from two years ago.” He remarked, grabbing a five-dollar bill from his pocket and slapping it on the bar table. 

Tucker choked on his drink, turning to look back at him. “What?” 

Locus got up from his barstool. “Think about it,” He told him, more of a demand or a request really. “I’ve got places to be.” He concluded. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Lavernius Tucker.” He said with a sigh as he began walking away. 

Lavernius frowned, facing towards the bar once again as a feeling he hadn’t felt in a while pooled in his gut. Something he thought he got away from. 

Guilt.

But not in the way one would think. 

It was more that he was angry for having to feel it, having to have another person be ashamed of him. 

But more importantly, he was not like Locus. 

He’d never hurt people the way Locus did. 

He left to ensure that. 

Although, here he was doing some coward’s dirty work for reasons that were mostly unneeded. 

“I’m off work.” A seductive voice told him quietly. 

Lavernius looked up to see the blond bartender back in front of him, leaning her back against the side of the bar. 

She smiled and easily lifted herself up onto the bar table, leaning down as she tugged his shirt towards her, him following easily after. “Wanna head to the back room and show me how you use that sword?” She whispered seductively; the action barely impacting Tucker quite in the way she probably wanted. 

Lavernius let his thoughts slip away as he turned his head to look at her, closing the space in between them as he moved to sloppily kiss her, moving down to her neck when she quickly reciprocated. 

Normally, he wouldn’t engage, but fuck, he needed a distraction. 

Cass bit her lip and scooted back as she daintily swung her legs over the bar table, redirecting his lips to her mouth as she lowered herself off the table. 

Tucker followed suit, getting up off the stool as he let her lead him towards the back of the bar. 

He let her touch him and use him however she wanted as he, in return, pushed her back against the tacky bar wallpaper, keeping every movement rough and merciless as he let himself think about anything else than what had happened earlier.

It wasn’t romantic or sensual or even fulfilling any need to be touched and when he kissed her, he wasn’t even really kissing her. He was too focused on not focusing on his thoughts to actually be truly active in the moment. 

It didn’t matter that he hadn’t had any physical contact in a year that hadn’t been a form of attack or that he had a job to do or that the lighting was too dark to see where his hands were going and it especially didn’t matter that Locus had referred to him as the type of man he used to be. 

Nothing mattered except what was in front of him-

But even that wasn’t really working. 

Lavernius looked up at her, glancing towards the entrance of the bar as he noticed someone walk in. 

A certain someone that matched the description given to him perfectly. 

He could feel the AI’s interest peak.

Lavernius leaned forward, as he took his lips off the blond. “I’ve got something to do.” He told her quietly, not caring to put much effort into his excuse. 

She frowned, opening her eyes to look at him as he let go of her. “Soldier work?” She asked, following his gaze towards the door. 

“Much worse.” Lavernius informed as he walked away, passing by new crowds of people that had wandered in as he looked towards the door and the bodies and faces around his target. 

Nobody struck him as the bodyguard type. 

_ “Alone are we?” Sigma observed. _

Tucker noted the observation, not looking at the scrawny guy he was after as he headed towards the door, violently grabbing him by his arm as he passed him and roughly pulled him towards the back bathrooms. Tucker tugged his gun out of his back pocket, leaving his sword at his side, as he decided the glow would draw too much attention. 

The man grunted, obviously surprised as he made an attempt to yank free, only stopping when he felt the end of Tucker’s gun against his back. 

“Let’s take a walk,” Lavernius mumbled behind him, heading towards the exit door near the bathrooms and kicking it open as he threw the man in his grip to the outside ground and pointed his gun at him; the door quietly closing behind them. 

Rain poured down the roof of the building above them and the man pulled himself up off the crumbly ground, now covered in wet gravel as he grabbed at the wired fence behind him. “What the fuck do you want?” He sneered. 

“I think we both know you owe some guys some money,” Lavernius told him, unimpressed. “Girl, more specifically.”

The man glared. “I can get it Monday.” He tried to assure. 

_ Not good enough  _ Sigma told him. Or maybe he thought it himself? Tucker was unsure.

Lavernius tsked, cocking the gun in his hands. “Gonna need more than that.” He said dryly as he moved forward, grabbing the man once again and flipping him over so he was facing the fence as he harshly rammed his face against it. 

“Fucking monster.” The guy hissed. 

_ “You’re starting to sound like me…”  _

Locus’s words rang in his ears as Tucker loosened his grip, and backed away.

Lavernius shook his head as he moved forward once again and reached into the man’s pockets, searching them as he held him against the fence with his arm. He pulled out a wallet as he dropped the guy, leaving him breathless against the fence. 

Tucker opened the wallet and smiled at the pictures framed. “This your daughter?” He asked emotionlessly as he showed him the photo. 

The man nodded and Lavernius removed the photo from the wallet, tossing the piece of leather down at the man’s feet as he looked at the back of the photo, reading the words listed. 

“You love her?” 

The man nodded. 

Lavernius raised a brow, looking towards him. “Wanna keep her safe?” 

Once again, the man nodded. 

Tucker tossed the photo on the ground as water droplets and dirt slowly began spreading over it. “Get the money.” He instructed, walking back towards the entrance to the bar, not bothering to watch the man scramble to scoop up his belongings after him. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The problem with coping is that not all people are good at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2!!!!! :D
> 
> I'm excited to continue posting these chapters, but I know I can't get ahead of myself <3
> 
> Thanks for reading <3

**_Journal entry #205_ **

**_/Name: Agent Washington_ **

**_/year: 2257_ **

**_/time:17:30am_ **

**_/location: off map, somewhere on Chorus._ **

_ Grey advised me to continue these, so despite my uncertainty in its effectiveness, I will.  _

_ I didn’t make it in time.  _

_ I figured I wouldn’t, but part of me ~~thought~~ hoped that our story would end the way a fairytale would’ve.  _

_ That I’d catch him at the last second and drag him home. That’d we’d realize how stupid we were acting and fix it. Fix everything.  _

_ Overcome and adapt and get through it together.  _

_ But, of course, life wasn’t a fairytale.  _

_ And I realized that sometime later, slumping effortlessly against a large concrete rock as I looked out into the horizon, miles away from the base.  _

_ My feet hurt and I was so fucking tired and Carolina had given up on trying to contact me on my HUD about an hour ago, and the fucking sun was coming up, but I didn’t care.  _

_ Because Tucker left and it was all my fault, and dammit, I had to fix it. Had to find him, get back to him, tell him that it was going to be ok, and then yell at him for leaving.  _

_ I should have never let him go.  _

_ I regret letting my anger get the best of me.  _

_ Maybe if I hadn’t, I could have prevented what happened.  _

**End of Journal**

  
  
  


They say it got better as time went on. 

But Wash was pretty sure the only reason people said that was because slowly, they began forgetting about the thing weighing them down. 

But Wash couldn’t forget, not this. 

How could he?

A long time ago, Wash made a bad decision. He made a lot of those but this one was by far the worst. He worked with the Meta and almost killed a few of the Reds and Blues because of it. 

He stopped eating, stopped sleeping, isolated himself from other people, and justified it by saying he was with Maine and was doing it to keep out of prison. 

He cherished and basked in the time he had with Maine because it was Maine goddammit. 

He only realized that the Meta and Maine were too separate people when he slaughtered Texas. 

He only realized he had made a mistake when the Reds and Blues saved him, despite him trying to kill them over and over again.

It was like a giant slap in the face. 

Wash took a look at himself that day and realized just how dark of a place that he was in. He liked to think that Tucker was the one to drag him out of that dark place. 

His bright smile and cocky attitude made Wash smile. 

And although he was stubborn and lazy and got on his nerves, he had some mystical way of bringing Wash out of his depression and showing him that there was more out there. That the Reds and Blues were his friends and he didn’t have to wallow in guilt and shame for the rest of his life. Tucker taught him how to move on and make a new life out of the ashes of his old one. 

And when Tucker needed Wash to do the same for him, Wash didn’t. 

It didn’t matter that Tucker pulled away and yelled at him and told him he didn’t need help because that’s what Wash did to Tucker and Tucker still pulled the stick out of his ass and forced him to make friends with the Reds and Blues and to take a nap and to eat the goddamn eggs that he made for him. 

When Tucker needed that a year ago, Wash got angry for being pushed away, and because of that; he ignored him and ending up losing someone he loved as a result of his harshness. 

He had tried, but persistency had to be key and Wash didn’t commit. 

It was a shame that he only realized that after Tucker had left. 

The day after he left, Wash didn’t sleep. He couldn’t, and he did try. 

The next morning he skipped drills and went to the tower of communications, borrowing a warthog from Jenson, despite Chorus running low on supplies. 

That day he sent off a signal and waited, part of him knowing nothing would happen.

He didn’t come back until later that night; driving back and being greeted by a pissed off Carolina. 

She told him not to do it again. 

He continued to do it once a week for the next year. 

And while everyone seemed to move on, Washington was stuck, slowly seeping back into that dark place he had been in years ago. 

**_Journal entry #206_ **

**_/Name: Agent Washington_ **

**_/year: 2257_ **

**_/time:18:30pm_ **

**_/location: Armoria_ **

_ I can’t remember the last time I slept.  _

_ Carolina told me that everything would get better, but I’m not sure how she can say that when everything feels so dull.  _

_ She told me she was worried, as always, and concerned that I hadn’t let it go yet.  _

_ “It’s been months.” She says it like it's some sort of plea.  _

_ Caboose is fine.  _

_ Grif is fine.  _

_ Simmons is fine.  _

_ Carolina is improving.  _

_ It feels like I’m the only one with unresolved issues about this.  _

_ I looked into spaceships sightings around Chorus and spoke to Caboose some more, who told me about Tucker telling him he was heading to see his son.  _

_ I used the tower of communications and some other resources.  _

_ Junior hasn’t seen Tucker.  _

_ I didn’t tell him about the AIs. _

_ No need to worry him.  _

**End of journal.**

**_Journal entry #307_ **

**_/Name: Agent Washington_ **

**_/year: 2258_ **

**_/time: 17:38am_ **

**_/location: -armoria-_ **

~~_ I don’t know why I started making these again. They aren’t helping. _ ~~

**_Data deleted by user._ **

Wash sighed, tossing his tablet to the side as he rubbed tiredly at his eyes. He glanced up at the ceiling and then to the window in his room. 

The sun was rising. 

Thank god. 

He got up from his bed; the place he had spent the entire night; wide awake, and picked his sweatshirt up off his dresser, lazily putting it on as he slipped on his shoes and pants; leaving the room as he headed towards the mess hall. 

“Good morning, Agent Washington.” Mathews greeted as he passed him by. 

Washington mumbled a response, turning into the mess hall as he was greeted by the Reds and Blues.

“OH AGENT WASHINGTON!” Caboose called, excitedly, waving to him with the utmost eagerness. 

“Hey, Caboose.” Wash greeted dryly as he stood by the table. 

“Mrs. Carolina taught me how to make airplanes!” 

Washington raised a brow towards Carolina as she smiled up at him, raising a paper airplane in her hand. 

“Not real ones.” She added. 

“Where the hell is Simmons?” Sarge grumbled, glancing at his watch and slamming a fist on the table, causing Donut’s cup to rattle. “He’s five minutes late.” 

“Grif isn’t here either.” Caboose noted. 

“Yea, but that’s expected!” Sarge countered loudly. 

Washington watched Donut perk up as he was seated on the table. “They’re sleeping together.” He gushed. “I took pictures.” Donut then leaned forward and pulled out his phone, the screen showing the two laid in bed next to each other, one’s arms over the other. 

Carolina scoffed, stifling a smile as she looked away and continued eating. 

Sarge grimaced. “Private Donut!” He howled. “I did not need to see that!”

“Are you going to eat with us?” Caboose asked, looking up at Wash with big eyes. 

Washington looked up and over towards the entrance to the cafeteria portion of the mess hall. “I’m gonna get some coffee.” He told him. “Then I’ll come sit with you guys.” 

Caboose frowned. “Mrs. Scary Doctor lady said you have to eat.” He grumbled. "And that coffee was not food."

Washington nodded. “I will.” He tried to ease as he began walking away. 

He appreciated the concern, but it was really unnecessary. He could handle himself just fine and he had always gotten through tough spots before. 

Of course, he had help from others.

Others that weren’t exactly there right now. 

Washington made his way to the small communal kitchen and started a pot of coffee as he cleaned off a cup from the sink. 

“I heard he’s back on Chorus.” A soldier from a nearby group told his friends. 

Washington paid them little mind as he dried off his mug, watching the dark liquid drip from the coffee machine and into the pot. 

“Fucking mercs.” Another soldier mumbled behind him. 

Washington began pouring the coffee from the pot into his mug. 

“Dude’s even got an alien sword.” The same soldier from before commented behind him. “Badass.”

Washington halted his movements, placing his mug aside as he turned around. “A sword?” He questioned. 

One of the soldiers, a new recruit, looked over to him and nodded, taking a sip of his drink. “Yea, alien temple type shit. People down on the outskirts of the old FED base are freaking out.” 

Alien temple? Sword? 

“And he’s a mercenary?” Washington asked them. 

The soldier shrugged. “People assume so.” He told him.

Washington nodded. 

He could see Tucker’s image flash in his mind, his sword glowing. It wasn’t the first time Wash had thought of Tucker, but for the most part, he had been keeping those thoughts from leaving his mouth. The soldier's description fitted him perfectly. But, he also knew that there was a possibility that it wasn’t Tucker. It couldn’t be, right? 

After all, he left and it had been a year. 

A whole year where Wash questioned how he continued waking up every morning as he watched the people behind him evolve, growing their lives, and relationships, and moving on while he was stuck in the same place, day after day, after day; making no progress whatsoever. 

Washington mentally sighed to himself. He wasn’t going to do it. Wasn’t going to risk chasing something that only wanted to run away. 

He kept repeating Carolina’s words in his mind. 

Move on, move on, move on. 

Washington ditched his thoughts, looking at the soldier even as their own interest dissipated. “Where exactly did you say the Mercenary was spotted?” 

* * *

Washington looked around him, the hum from the engine of the warthog loud as he pressed down on the gas.

Sometimes he felt bad for taking vehicles without checking them out, but he’d return them and explain himself eventually. 

Besides, this was important. 

And also a once in a lifetime opportunity. 

If he didn’t take action now, he may never get the chance to do so again. 

And that scared him. 

He couldn’t keep living like he was. He couldn’t let Tucker live the way he was living. He needed to do this and while he wasn’t exactly sure what he would do when he did find him, he knew that he needed to at least know where he was. 

He needed to see him again. 

Washington slowed down, stopping in front of the seemingly abandoned base. He got out of the warthog and looked around him for any sign of entry. 

When he noticed nothing, he continued moving, heading into the base. 

His weapons weren’t drawn; he didn’t see a need for them to be if it was just Tucker because Tucker would never hurt him; and he stepped over a pile of debris, finding shelter under a large slab that was part of the building. 

The outside looked like hell. 

The entrance was torn to bits, ash and dirt still blew around the base; blowing in from holes in the walls, and it reeked. It got better the further in he got where the explosive damage lessened and Wash could tell, or guess really, what the building had looked like. 

He looked around, broken lights hanging from the ceilings and the occasional empty gun scattered on the dirty tiled floor. 

Washington stepped lightly, trying his best to make as little sound as possible. 

He then whipped his head around, hearing a clatter come from down the hall. 

Washington turned left down the hall and followed the sound, moving faster as he got closer before he could tell the noise had come from the room next to him. 

He quickly halted his movements and backed up against the wall, out of sight. 

Fuck, he didn’t have a plan, didn’t even know what he was going to say or do. 

What would the Reds and Blues do? Shit usually worked out well for them. 

Wing it, he supposed. 

Washington turned the corner into the room and paused, jumping back from shock as he quickly whipped his gun out and pointed it in front of him. He positioned himself as a soldier would, a foot planted behind him with both hands on the gun, and stared at the person in front of him. 

Or rather, the person that was there .02 seconds ago. 

Washington backed up, away from the room, and into the hall as he kept his gun pointed at the doorway. He squinted his eyes, trying to get a better viewpoint of the space in front of him.

“Agent Washington.” A monotone voice greeted next to him. 

Washington stepped back once again, redirecting his gun towards the voice. “Locus.” He returned, with just as much dullness. 

Locus’s active camouflage finished deactivating and Wash could see him much more clearly now. 

He had a new helmet, the X design no longer molded across it. His armor also seemed darker; dirtier, and he still had a sword attached at his hip. 

And that was when realization and disappointment washed over him. 

The Merc spotted wasn’t Tucker, it was Locus. 

“You’ve got some fucking nerve coming back here.” Washington told him sternly, making sure he got the first word in as he made it visually apparent that he brought his finger to the trigger of his gun. 

Locus scoffed. “That gun isn’t even loaded.” He commented somewhat casually. Or at least as casually as Locus got. “You came in here unarmed.” He added, walking past Washington and back into the room. 

“You were watching me?” Washington asked, making sure his tone kept no cracks of emotion and that he was stern with his words. 

“Warthogs aren’t quiet.” Locus commented as he began shuffling through items in the room. 

Washington paused, observing him for a moment. “What are you doing?” He demanded to know. 

Locus glanced behind him towards Wash and then back on the desk in front of him and for a moment, Washington was unsure he’d receive an answer. “I’m not doing anything illegal if that’s what you’re wondering.” Locus informed. 

Washington watched him, his gun still raised. “I don’t believe that.” 

“I don’t care.” Came the grunted response. 

“Why are you on Chorus?”

“My stuff is still here,” Locus explained, uninterested. “I need something for a job.”

Washington nodded. 

He didn’t know how much he could believe that Locus quit illegal mercenary work, but his explanation seemed to make sense and he hadn’t threatened Wash or tried to flee or even try to kill him. 

Even when he knew Wash was there, he made no move to attack.

“Mercenary work?” 

Locus tucked something at his side, turning around towards Washington as he nodded. 

“And you’ve been off the planet?” Washington asked. 

Locus nodded once again, walking past him out of the room as Washington followed, slowly tagging along after him. “My tech has always been hundreds of years more advanced than Chorus’s.”

It was probably true. After the war, supplies were low and engines and armor were built from scraps. Locus must’ve left with the last bits of his high powered tech. As he should’ve. It was probably dangerous for him to be spotted in the streets even if he claimed to be reformed; people would still hunt him down. 

“Have you,” Wash paused, wanting to phrase his next words as carefully as possible. “I mean you’ve-” Washington stopped when Locus glanced behind him at Washington, probably waiting for him to spit it out already. “Have you seen or heard anything about Tucker?” He then asked. 

Wash felt the need to ask since Locus had been off the planet and if anyone were to catch word of what he was doing, it had to have been Locus, right? Part of him didn’t want to ask because then that meant that Locus would know Tucker wasn't with them and there was a certain vulnerability that tied to that. Like he had exposed Tucker in some way and might have risked something for him. 

When Locus said nothing, Wash tried again. “You said you aren’t doing dirty mercenary work anymore,” He explained. “Tucker might be. One would think those two worlds would collide in some way.”

“Lavernius Tucker?” Locus asked, waiting for clarification. 

“Who else?”

Locus sighed and faced away from Washington, continuing his path down the base hallway. “I’m not getting in Lavernius’s business.” He told him. “And I have no interest in helping you two sort this out.” 

Washington paused before moving to follow after him again. “You’ve seen him, haven’t you?”

Locus said nothing and continued walking. 

Washington groaned. “If you know where he is, you have to tell me.”

“And why would I have to do that?” 

Washington frowned, frustrated. “Fine.” He growled, moving ahead of Locus and turning in front of him, blocking his path down the hall. “You’re a mercenary. You do paid jobs. I’ll pay you to tell me.” He compromised angrily. 

Locus raised a brow at him from under his helmet and sighed. “I don’t know where he is.” He told him, causing Wash to frown. “But I know where he’s going to be.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had to learn Poker for this chapter :D

After the war on Chorus, there was a long period of time where things weren’t ok. 

Hargrove destroyed a huge portion of the planet, within the structure and the people. There were cities and towns that were either completely torn apart or had all their citizens in hiding. And the fact that there were people resisting the control and development of the government and still space pirates on the loose just made that even worse 

Plus, the Space Pirates that were left were too consumed by anger and the unrightful loyalty towards Hargrove that the citizens were too afraid to do anything about it, let alone come out of the holes they had been hiding in since the war started. 

Food and supplies were scarce.    
  


The whole planet had dropped everything to fight the war; dragging farmers and construction workers away from their jobs to become soldiers and it definitely didn’t help anyone’s case. 

Supplies were destroyed, worn out, and broken. So, tools, weapons, vehicles, and engines were forced to be built from scraps; leftover gun pieces and broken and dusted armor

All these things would get better after the war, but that took time. 

It took time to eradicate the rest of the space pirates. 

It took time to grow more crops and build more houses. 

It took time to show people that it was safe to emerge from their homes. 

And it took time to make new, shinier, smoother, stronger, and more operable weapons and vehicles.    
  


For example, the one parked before Washington. 

“It looks good.” David approved, looking over at Private Jenson as her smile grew proudly. 

“Thanks.” She grinned, her lisp apparent as she spoke. “I’ve got three more in the back and-” She then whipped her head around, hearing a clatter coming from a nearby engine. “Palamo!” She screeched, looking over to the private seated in the front passenger seat of the warthog. 

“I’m still working on those!” 

“I won’t break it!” Came the screamed response. 

Katie watched him for a second longer and deciding he wasn’t causing any immediate harm to the vehicle, looked back to David Washington. “Anyway, I’ve got more in the back and Caboose and I were working on a new prototype. One that would include a weapon’s system.” She explained. 

Washington nodded. “It doesn’t have shooters or anything?” He questioned. 

Jensen shook her head. “Nope. This was more of a test vehicle Kimball requested for space travel.” 

“We might be getting shipments from a nearby planet!” Palomo added, yelling loudly.

“We can hear you without yelling!” Jensen screamed back, annoyed. 

Washington knew that Kimball was trying to gain assistance from neighboring planets. And he didn’t blame her, they may have been improving the health, well being, and development of Chorus, but there was still a lot more that could be done to speed up the planet’s recovery. 

“How far out can this model go?” Washington asked. “You know, so we know which planets we can reach.” 

Jensen thought about it for a moment, believing their conversation to be an involved superior asking about conditions for a mission. 

Little did she know, it was a mission Carolina specifically excluded him from. 

“I’m not exactly sure.” She admitted. “Not too far.” 

Washington nodded. “Ok, thanks.” 

Katie nodded. “No problem, and thanks for bringing back that warthog. I have no idea what it was doing on the outskirts of Armonia.” 

Washington glanced away from her. “Me neither.” He lied sheepishly as he turned to walk back towards the entrance of the vehicle check-in area, rolling his eyes as he heard a loud crash and a screamed “PALAMO!” behind him as he walked away. 

He continued walking and pushed open the exit doors with ease, stepping out of the room as he mentally mapped his way through the base towards his room where he could have the proper space to work out exactly what he was planning on doing. 

He had the information and the vehicles to go after Tucker, he just needed to know what exactly he was going to do. 

Because not going after him wasn’t an option. 

He had spent so much time blaming himself and feeling miserable without him and he knew he’d never get another chance like this to find him and make things right. 

Washington was so distracted by his thoughts that he almost didn’t notice Carolina turn the corner out of the corner of his eyes. 

He paused. She didn’t see him yet, he could still turn around and-

“Washington!”   
  


“Fuck,” He muttered, turning to look at her as she jogged towards his direction. “Heyyy, Liiina.” He drew out sheepishly. 

“Where the fuck did you go?” She demanded, her arms crossed over her chest and a fiery look in her eyes. 

Another thing that changed after the war was that the need for armor on a daily basis became very slim. 

Which everybody enjoyed, himself included; even though it did take a few months to feel safe out of armor. 

Washington avoided her gaze and shrugged. “I needed some time to myself for a little while.” 

It technically wasn’t a lie. 

He could use some time to himself. 

Carolina’s stern stare softened. “Could you have at least told us that? Caboose went looking for you and I haven’t seen him since.” 

“I’m sorry,” Wash told her, knowing Caboose was probably getting into trouble right that moment. “I didn’t know.” 

Carolina sighed, retracting her own gaze as he returned his. “Have you spoken to Grey?” 

Washington raised a brow and scoffed. “That’s not necessary.” He told her. “I’m fine.” 

Carolina looked at him with her ‘are you fucking kidding me expression’.

“Seriously, I am.” Wash reiterated. 

“You’re not sleeping, Wash.” 

“I slept last night.” Wash lied. 

Carolina let her arms fall back to her sides and was silent for a moment, leaving Washington to wonder whether or not she could tell he was bullshitting her. “You understand why I’m worried, right?” She genuinely asked him. 

“It’s really not necessary, I’m fine.” 

She sighed. “It’s been a year, Wash and you’re obviously still not over,” She paused, choosing her words carefully. “it.” 

Washington pressed the end of his nail violently in his palm. “Yea, well I don’t understand how or why you guys keep expecting me to.” 

“That’s why you should talk to Grey.” Carolina pleaded. “She’ll help. She sure as hell helped me.”

He didn’t understand how everyone acted all casual about the topic. 

Yes, it had been a while since Tucker left. 

Should he have gotten over it by now? Maybe, probably. 

But, he didn’t and it felt like a punch in the gut knowing everyone else had. 

They got over it and improved for the better and it aggravated Wash. It was like Tucker didn’t even matter. That him leaving was a good thing. 

Well, maybe for them it was, but it wasn’t for him. 

“Can we just stop talking about it?” Washington exasperated.

“You’re too stubborn,” Carolina told him before sighing. “Fine.” She reluctantly agreed.

Washington stooped digging his nail into his palm. “Thanks.” He muttered as he continued walking. 

“Find Caboose!” Carolina yelled at him as he walked away.

Washington sighed to himself as he continued walking. 

Finding Caboose would be no easy feat and he really wanted to be doing other things. 

After Church’s death, Caboose spent days at a time holed up in his room, working on- 

Well, Wash didn’t exactly know what he was working on, but whatever it was must have failed because one day before Tucker left, he left his room. 

To be honest, Washington hadn’t been in Caboose’s room in a long while. 

The last time he entered, there were piles of scraps and metal pieces huddled in every corner of the place and pictures drawn in marker were covering every inch of the once grey walls. 

Washington figured he should be concerned, but Caboose seemed to be doing quite well despite it. Wash gathered that drawing out the memories of Church must have been therapeutic to him, in a way.

Grey had suggested Wash the journal route of recovery. 

It was a simple idea. Write out your thoughts and feelings to something that can’t judge you until you eventually got over them. And Wash had tried; he really had, but it just didn’t have the same effect on him. He felt dumb for doing it and didn’t want to talk about it because talking about it just made him feel worse. It just reminded him that he pushed Tucker away and ignored him when he should have kept fighting for him. 

Of course Grey would tell him that it wasn’t his fault. He could hear Carolina’s voice in his head asking him, “How were you supposed to know that he would leave?” And part of Wash agreed with that, but a big part of him knew those were bullshit thoughts that were  _ supposed  _ to make him feel better. 

And he didn’t deserve to feel better about it. 

Washington continued walking, only stopping when he reached Caboose’s room; knocking on the door lightly. 

It was shut tight and the light was off, but that didn’t stop Wash from opening the door to check if anyone was in there anyway. 

“Caboose?” He questioned, leaning into the room and looking around; not wanting to have to enter the room unless he had to. 

When he got no response, he pushed the door open further and stepped inside, walking further in and stepping over piles of junk. He stopped walking when he got to the middle of the room and glanced towards the bathroom that accompanied every room. The light was also off. 

Washington turned around and left the room, shutting the door on his way out as he continued walking down the hallway, inspecting rows of doors until he heard someone call his name. 

Wash stopped dead in his tracks and looked back towards where the voice came from when he heard it again. 

“Washington!?” The voice called.    
  


He looked down at the rows of doors and pinpointed the room the sound was coming from. 

Tucker’s room. 

Washington stepped towards the door and walked in, watching as Caboose stood by the bathroom door. 

“Caboose?” Wash asked him. “What are you doing here?” 

Caboose whipped his head around and smiled big. “Oh, Washington! Oh, sorry.” He gushed. “I figured that you would be in here.” He told him with a smile. 

Washington looked around the room. 

Everything was still as Tucker left it. 

Piles of papers were scattered on his desk and the room was cleaner. Everything showing any personality was stashed away in the closet. The room had been cleaned over and over excessively, starting from dusting the top of the shelves on the wall, to vacuuming the entire floor.

Wash knew all this information for a fact. When Tucker first had the AIs and they were in a relationship, Wash would lay in Tucker’s room occasionally. It helped him sleep. 

Apparently, Tucker couldn’t say the same thing because when Wash fell “asleep” he’d work; clean the room, file documents, and sometimes he’d leave the room altogether and go do god knows what. 

That was back when Washington was trying to give him space, but that- that didn’t really work, now did it?

“Washington?” 

David looked over at Caboose. “I’m ok.” He told him. “You found me, you can go if you want.” 

Caboose bit his lip and didn’t leave him; only continued watching as Wash looked around the room. 

David hadn’t even been in Tucker’s room since before he left. 

Carolina specifically urged him not to and he could see why. 

Just being in the room gave Wash flashbacks of the time he spent with Tucker in it. 

For fuck’s sake, it even still smelled like him. 

“Maybe we should both leave.” Caboose told him nervously and urgently.

Washington snapped out of his thoughts and looked over to him. “Uh, yea ok.” He agreed, only turning to leave when Caboose began ushering him out of the room. 

“All our friends are going to watch a movie,” Caboose told him as he practically shoved Washington out of the room and shut the door tightly behind them. “You and I should go there right now and watch.” 

Washington looked around Caboose and at the door, frowning as Caboose noticed and stepped in front of him, blocking his view. 

“Caboose, cut that out.” Washington chastised. “I don’t need to be babysat.” 

Caboose frowned and looked at him seriously. “You are not a baby and I would never sit on you.” He told him sternly before smiling. “Let us go watch the movie!” He declared as he took Washington’s hand and began pulling him away. 

“No, Caboose,” Wash started saying, trying to pull his hand out of Caboose’s grip. “I’m tired and I have a lot of work to do, maybe I’ll join you guys tomorrow.” 

Caboose stopped walking and turned around to look at him, still holding his hand. “But, you always say that.” 

“I mean it this time.” Wash said with a smile. “I just really have to get some work done.” 

Caboose thought about his words for a second before speaking again. “But, tomorrow you will?” He asked timidly. 

Washington nodded. 

Caboose dropped his hand from his grasp. “Ok, but then you have to sit next to Grif tomorrow.” 

Washington let out a breathy laugh. “Sure thing, buddy.” 

Caboose smiled, waving him goodbye as he rushed off towards the Rec room. 

Washington sighed, turning to head back to his own room. 

He hated lying to Caboose, but this was important and timing was key. 

After all, he only had a few hours to pack, grab a ship, and GTFO. 

Not to mention, he had no way of telling whether or not the ship Jensen had worked on would take him all the way to the planet Tucker was on. 

He just knew that Tucker was going to be somewhere and that he wouldn’t be there long.

* * *

Tucker sat down at the poker table, nodding at the dealer as he passed him his cards for Texas Hold’em. The casino he was in was fancy enough. It reeked of cigarettes but had enough flashing lights at that time of night to attract a great deal of people inside.   
  


Lavernius looked down at his two cards, not even needing to think to Gamma as he, without appearing visible to anyone else, looked over his shoulder and chuckled darkly. 

_ “Call it.”  _

Lavernius almost rolled his eyes, because of course, he was going to call it. He always called it until the flop was revealed because you never knew when you had something and most of the time he could make something out of nothing. 

However, he didn’t question or chastise the AI, knowing he really liked being a part of a game where the outcome was determined by how well one could lie, or, in technical terms, hold their poker face. 

It was funny because the fragments never revealed themselves anymore; only when something they deemed extremely exciting was happening. 

Lavernius called silently, reaching to place his chips into the middle of the table. 

They started with a small bet of 100$, but he could tell just by the way these people carried themselves that they would be playing for stakes. 

For one, the women diagonal from him wore a dark black velvet dress and wore heels loud enough that he could hear her walk up to the poker table without ever having to look up, so she was confident to start. Not to mention the fact that her hair and nails were done perfectly and had to cost an unnecessary amount as it was. She also had jewelry littering her skin, wrapped around every ankle, and wrist which meant money probably didn’t mean much as she had enough to look like a walking disco globe. 

Judging by the lack of a wedding ring, she was also probably single. Boyfriend, maybe, but the way she had her cleavage out, Tucker wouldn’t assume so. 

The guy next to him looked like a frustrated wreck before even sitting down at the table and seemed tipsy enough that Tucker could label him drunk and broke. And also desperate. 

He’d probably be the first to fold or would bet everything and risk it. 

Which left two different males; one at his right and one next to the flashy women. The man sitting next to the woman wore a neat suit and most likely wasn’t the girl’s boyfriend because they didn’t walk up together and he hadn’t said a word to her since. Not like he would; Lavernius could tell the guy was a douchebag judging just by the Rolex he wore and the fact that he was wearing a pair of designer sunglasses over his eyes...indoors. 

The other male was put together too, but dressed in more casual wear; his suit jacket off and draped over the back of his chair. He seemed more like he was playing casually. The type of guy that approached the table, not looking to win or lose; just enjoy the game. 

He’d probably fold when presented with a challenge and most likely wouldn’t bet anything higher than what he had in his wallet. 

Lavernius watched as the other players made their turn. 

One raise, the rest calls. 

The amount they were playing for went from 100$ to 200$

Gamma stared discriminatingly at the man who chose to raise; taking the beginning of the game to make an obvious statement of “Hey, I’ve got something!”

And as Gamma turned to look at him, Tucker, without thinking, did the same; copying Gamma’s movements exactly. 

The man’s facial expression remained the same, but he relaxed against the back of his seat and slightly lowered his deck so that it couldn’t be seen, even by him. 

Which meant he had something good. 

Lavernius eyed him and then his own cards and raised his bet, placing 50$ dollars in; keeping his expression and body language neutral as he did so. 

Two raises and two calls. 

Lavernius noted how the man he was going to call, Douchebag, raised again. 

Bet was now at 360$

The dealer placed down the flop as a waiter came by and passed out drinks. 

Tucker took a gracious sip from his, ignoring the mental remark he gave himself from Gamma. 

He knew the casino only gave out free drinks so that their players would get drunk or tipsy and make dumb decisions. He wasn’t dumb, he just didn’t care. 

Lavernius set his glass down, looking at the flop. 

_ “8 of spades, King of hearts, Queen of diamonds.”  _

Tucker knocked on the table; implying he was checking as he watched the rest of the table do the same. 

That was except for the disgruntled looking man who raised his bet, following the action by bringing his thumb up to his face to touch the corner of his lips as he looked down at the table. 

_ “He’s bluffing.”  _

Lavernius scoffed to himself. He figured that much, although his “confidence” might make the man who was there to play casually fold next round if he kept it up. 

The dealer revealed the next card to the table with ease. 

_ “10 of hearts.” _

It wasn’t anything really. 

Tucker raised his bet along with Douchebag. 

The woman and casual man checked and the disgruntled man folded annoyingly when no one else did. 

Bet at 508$

Next card was revealed. 

_ “2 of clovers” _

The man dressed less formally folded right away with good sportsmanship, placing his cards down as he pulled his phone from his pocket and began tapping rapidly at the screen; most likely texting. 

Lavernius grinned and raised his bet, causing Douchebag to glare and raise his again. 

Douchebag then looked over to Lavernius, trying to determine whether or not he was bluffing. 

Lavernius just smiled at him, looking back down at his own deck as he reached for his glass, taking a sip of the sour liquid. 

His Poker face was pretty much perfect at this point. 

If he learned anything from having Gamma ingrained in his head for a year, it’d be that you can get away with any lie if you believe that lie is true. And between that and being interrogated countless times, Lavernius had perfected lying and not giving anything away.

The woman scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Men.” She muttered half-heartedly as she folded.

Douchebag glanced Lavernius’s way. 

Tucker assumed he had something or else he wouldn’t have raised right away, but the raise decreased over time; leading Lavernius to believe he had a win. A small win. 

Bet at 778$ 

Tucker raised his bet, sliding his chips in calmly.

1,005$

Douchebag looked down at his own deck and then snuck a look at Tucker.

_ “He’s worried.” Gamma grinned.  _

He wouldn’t be worried if he had that big of a win, Lavernius mused to himself as his heart raced pleasantly. 

There wouldn’t be much worry to beat a small win, except for the fact that the flop held a 10, a King, and a Queen. And Douchebag knew that if Tucker had a Jack and an Ace, he’d have a Straight and that hand could definitely kick the ass of a Three of a kind or a Pair, which was probably what the other guy had. That left the question; if Tucker did have that play, was it really worth losing 1k over?

Douchebag sighed and folded. 

Tucker grinned and flipped over his deck to reveal a 3 of clovers and a 5 of hearts as he released a sharp intake of breath. 

The man stared at him baffled, before shaking his head. 

A few members at the table groaned while Tucker’s play earned a few laughs from people surrounding the table, watching the match as they waited for their turn to play. 

“Can’t believe you betted a grand on a pig.” Douchebag hissed. 

Lavernius grinned, handing in his cards. “Next time don’t challenge strong players.” He told him, raising his glass and finishing off the alcohol inside. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God, I love casinos.

If he was being honest, he didn’t enjoy Casinos all that much. 

He could understand how other people might though. Who wouldn’t enjoy crowds of people, liquor, flashing lights, and gambling?

Well, not him. 

Although, as he looked up at the entrance sign; the Casino name flashing in bright, colorful, neon lights, he knew if Tucker was there, that was where he wanted to be. 

So maybe it was manageable. 

Considering the fact that he stole, flew, and parked a literal spaceship that, by the way, barely made it out of Chorus’s gravitational pull; he came to the conclusion that enduring a little social gathering would be the easy part. 

But who was he kidding? 

Nothing about this had been or was going to be easy.

He didn’t enjoy lying to the people he cared about and he sure as hell didn’t enjoy stealing vehicles and running away with them, but he was desperate. He supposed he had to just take a page out of the Red’s and Blue’s book and choose to be impulsive with his decisions. 

Which led to him winging it, with few plans, which he would never do unless he really wanted something done and only had a small window of opportunity to do it. 

After about an hour of walking around the Casino; his dress shoes padding on the red carpet below him as he was blinded with flashing lights and bouts of smoke, he figured out that the noise and loud groups didn’t appear to be so much of a problem as finding Tucker had been.

He underestimated just how big the building was. 

To his credit, all the buildings were so close on the outside that he couldn’t tell how many of them were part of the casino and how many of them were separate. 

Of course, Washington realized that even if he did find Tucker, there was no telling what his reaction to seeing him would be. 

Would he make him leave? Leave himself? What if Tucker didn’t recognize him at all?

What if Wash didn’t recognize him? 

He was too far into this to only now be overthinking it. 

Washington took a deep breath as he continued walking through groups of dressed up civilians. 

It had been a while since he’d been out in any sort of civilization. 

At least this planet wasn’t like Earth. You could tell the people there were from different places around the planet. People wore brands Wash had never seen nor heard of, the lights strung up above him resembled some sort of crystal design that looked interesting enough, but seemed completely foreign.

Upbeat and unrecognizable music played faintly through multiple evenly distributed speakers on the side of the walls. Not that it was even needed, Wash thought to himself. There were enough people talking to block out the sound of silence. 

Washington walked up a flight of stairs, holding onto the golden rail provided as he gazed upon a large entrance to a room; filled to the brim with people crowding around blackjack and poker tables as they hollered cheerfully at the players seated.

Red carpet covered the floors and Washington couldn’t defer from the waitresses and guests wearing flashy clothing. All the colors and lights blended into one visual. He would admit, the Red and Gold aesthetic was pretty. 

He then looked around the room, passing by a group of girls as he walked; his hands stuffed into his pockets as if he might lose them. 

He didn’t have any weapons with him, which was a pretty big deal and probably good for him, but still caused him to feel uneasy and vulnerable. He almost contemplated going back and grabbing his gun from the ship, but the Casino probably wouldn’t let him in the building with it and he had already gone this far.

Stepping closer to the poker tables and away from the slot machines and bars, Washington paused, catching something out of the corner of his eye. It was a particularly large group of people crowding around a table. Which normally, he wouldn’t pay much mind to, until he noticed how instead of cheering, the whole table seemed somewhat silent. 

And then he saw a familiar face smile as they turned the people around the table went  _ wild.  _

Washington halted his movements and just watched for a moment as people walked around him, trying to get out of the way. 

Because HOLY FUCK. 

That was Tucker. 

He was the reason Wash had come the whole way out here. The reason he had abandoned everything because, fuck, he couldn't take it anymore; couldn’t stand being mesirable without him for much longer. 

Relief washed over him as he confirmed, by the dreads and very noticeable teal tattoos, that that was Tucker. 

But he didn’t dare move. 

Wouldn’t risk it. 

Because once he did something, that smile on Tucker’s face would dissipate. He seemed happy enough, maybe he was better off without him. 

Wash knew if he spoke to him, the year they spent away from each other would have to be addressed and Wash didn’t want to approach him only to be shoved away. He didn’t want to address it. He cared about what happened, but all he really wanted was Tucker. 

“Move.” Someone growled, pushing past him. 

Washington snapped out of his thoughts, looking over to the person as he mumbled out his sorry.

He had come out this whole way.

There was no way he was letting Tucker go again. 

Forcing himself to move forward, Washington began walking towards the table. 

What would he do when he got there? Washington had no idea and very little time to contemplate it. 

He lightly pushed his way through people; standing a good distance behind Tucker as he watched the poker game with the crowd of people. 

It was down to two players; Tucker and a very dressed-up female on the other side of the table. 

The lady looked at her cards, her long black eyelashes practically covering her eyes as she smiled and pushed the rest of her chips into the middle of the table. 

Washington couldn’t see Tucker’s face so his reaction to her move remained unknown, but he could see that he didn’t even need to look at his cards before he copied the women’s movements and went all-in with his chips. 

The people surrounding the table quieted down a tad bit as the dealer requested both parties show their cards. 

The woman bit her lip, tossing them on the table to reveal 4 aces and a 7 of hearts. 

It was a pretty good hand, hard to beat. 

The people surrounding the table looked over to Tucker as he casually flipped his cards over to reveal a Royal Flush; the rarest and only unbeatable hand in the game. The people watching the game went crazy as Tucker gathered his winnings and the women looked down at his cards in shock. 

The dealer gave the previous players all a few minutes to gather their items as he gave the winner a greater value chip and then began gathering players for another match. 

Washington watched as Tucker walked away from the dealer. He took a deep breath and mustered the courage to approach. Confident in his decision, he made a move to shimmy around people as he walked towards Tucker. 

It took a minute, but Wash eventually caught up with him a few hundred feet away from the Poker table. Speeding up his pace, unsure of what he was going to say, Washington reached out and grabbed Tucker’s hand to stop him; immediately noticing how the other man halted his movements; going stone-cold frozen as he whipped his head around; an angry glare visible on his face. 

A glare that immediately softened the second his eyes met with Wash’s. 

They were both silent for a moment before Tucker’s face showed some sort of emotion that Wash couldn’t exactly pinpoint. 

Washington’s hand still holding Tucker’s, he smiled sheepishly, unable to look away from his teal-ish blue eyes. “Hey.” He mustered. 

Tucker bit his lip, still in shock, but seeming somewhat nervous as he quickly retracted his hand and took a step back away from Wash. “You shouldn’t be here.” He snipped, turning around as he began walking away. 

Washington frowned, before running after him. “Tucker, wait.” He called. 

Once again, Tucker stopped and turned around to face him. 

When he said nothing and Wash could see the multitude of emotions on his face, Washington frowned. “What’s wrong?” 

At first, Tucker didn’t speak, just looked at him.

“I haven’t been called that in a while.” He finally said; the time delay in his response and the fact that he didn’t fully recognize his own name leaving Wash to wonder when the last time he had a conversation with a person was. 

“Do you want me to call you something else?” Washington asked, genuine with his words. 

Tucker shook his head no. 

Washington thought he would continue speaking or hell, say something, but he just stared at Wash as if he was waiting for  _ him _ to speak. 

“I um,” Jesus, he really didn’t think this through. “Can we talk?” Wash then asked suddenly.

Tucker looked around him, staying silent for a moment until he looked back behind him and then back at Wash. “Not here.” He told him sternly, before turning around and walking. 

Washington naturally followed him, not expecting Tucker to know the building so well as he made his way down a hallway and pushed open a large set of gold-rimmed doors that led out to a balcony-looking area. The night sky blaring down on them as a cool breeze blew by and Tucker stepped further onto the steel floor. 

Washington followed after, softly shutting the door behind them as he glanced over at Tucker who stood at the end of the balcony; leaning on the rail as he looked off into the distance. 

He looked good; obviously a bit older, but still good. His casual dress wear suited him and his hair was longer, as he probably liked it; up in a dreaded bun, leaving a few dreads in the front to fall out over his shoulders. His tattoos all the same, but dimmer, and when Wash walked up to him and watched him stare out into the distance; a thoughtful expression on his face; he could see new scars that weren’t there before and an absence of his once excited and energetic glow. 

“How did you find me?” Tucker asked him, looking away from the rough night sky and towards Wash. 

“Specifics aren’t important.” Wash tried to joke, earning no response from Tucker. 

Wash quieted down after that. 

There was a long pause before anyone spoke again. 

Washington spent the time trying to read Tucker as he looked away from Wash.

It was hard to tell what he was feeling when he said nothing and kept a blank expression. 

“I have stuff to do.” Tucker finally told him. 

Washington frowned, knowing he was about to be told to leave or pushed away. However, he was prepared to be persistent. He came the whole way out there and was not leaving without Tucker. That was his decision and he was sticking to it. 

He didn’t care if Tucker wanted him gone. 

At that point, Washington knew there was nothing Tucker could say to make him leave anyway.

“Do you want to come with me?” Tucker asked, still not looking at him. His face didn’t show it, but he seemed worried about the answer he’d received. 

Washington paused. He wasn’t expecting that. “Um, I-” He managed, surprised. It was obvious Tucker wanted him to go with him. Washington could always tell. “Sure. I mean, definitely.” 

He caught a glimpse of Tucker smiling as he turned away from the rail, letting his hand lightly trail across it, before falling at his side.

He didn’t say anything else, so Wash took it as his cue to follow. 

Washington greatly noticed the newfound lack of speech. He would do or say something and Tucker would respond with actions, hoping Wash would take the hint to move forward or keep talking, or whatever it was that he wanted him to do. Which was odd as it forced Wash to make an executive guess every time he didn't have affirmation on an action.

And even odder because usually Tucker was the one that kept speech going when conversation died down. 

Washington didn’t ask Tucker what exactly it was that he had to do, just jogged up towards him and stayed at his side. 

Lavernius glanced at him, trying to ignore the screaming in his head. He then looked towards an excluded area in the casino and automatically took Wash’s hand, turning their direction towards where he wanted to be instead of telling him where they had to go. 

Tucker was surprised when Washington let him do that. 

He was surprised he did that. 

Especially after having to hear all the views the fragments were trying to push on him earlier. 

It started the second he saw David. 

His appearance was so unexpected by everyone that when it happened, the AIs panicked and all forced extremely differentiating thoughts from their minds and into Tucker’s as fast as they possibly could. It was so sudden and somewhat mentally abusing that, Lavernius couldn’t easily block them out. 

_ “Don’t even think about dragging him into this.” Gamma had said with an eye roll. “Save him the trouble and effort. It’s not worth being spent on you.”  _

_ “How did he find us?” Iota had asked. “Why’s he here?” _

_ “If he’s here, how close are the Reds and Blues?” Delta had questioned, causing Lavernius to feel a bout of anxiety at being ambushed by the people he ran away from.  _

_ “He still hates us though!" Eta had cried.  _

_ “Get rid of him.” Sigma had hissed.  _

With all the sounds and feelings rushing over him, he really felt like running away but was too frozen in suspense that he couldn’t. 

At the time, he was too busy processing the person in front of him and filtering the thoughts in his brain to even think about doing anything. 

But, once he did, actions began rendering and he noted Wash grabbing his hand and smiling sheepishly at him. 

Smiles were good. 

“Hey.” He had said. 

The second he had spoken, more manic yelling from the AIs rang through his mind as they each attempted to grapple his attention and Lavernius knew the only way to get it to stop was to get Wash as far away from him as possible. 

It all had been too loud and he hadn’t heard all the AIs in sync at that volume since Chorus. 

He had froze, memories from Armonia rushing back at him. Memories of Wash and how everything was good until it wasn’t. Until he got closer to him and then he- 

Tucker had retracted his hand at that point. “You shouldn’t be here.” He had told him, trying to be stern. 

After that, things mixed into one blur where he tried to ignore the voices in his head and the memories pooling back into his mind and just tried to focus on the place he was right then and there in order to ground himself. 

He focused on Wash and let him stick around because as much as he knew the fragments wouldn’t stop the harassing until he was gone, that instant could have been the last time he had ever seen Wash and-

And if it was just for one night, there couldn’t be too much harm in keeping him close, right?

After that engrained decision, the AIs quieted down a little and the next thing he knew, Tucker was leading Wash to an enclosed spot in the casino, looking towards him and wondering how far he wanted this man to follow. 

And for how long. 

“It’ll only take about 20 minutes,” Lavernius informed him, stepping towards a door as he leaned next to it, inconspicuously knocking on the back of it. 

Washington nodded. “Alright, then uh-” He paused. “Then do you wanna get out of here?”

_ “Don’t you dare.” Sigma hissed. _

It would just be one night. 

Just one night. 

That was it. 

And surely he could allow himself that? 

“I have a place.” Tucker mumbled as the door behind him creaked open. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You get a happy chapter today <3
> 
> Don't get used to it >:)

Washington laughed, tipping his head back with a smile. “And when we asked Caboose what he was doing, he said he was making it into a pirate.”

“By continuously stabbing its left eye?” Lavernius questioned, glancing towards Washington as they walked under the lamppost, the light emitting a pleasant glow on his face. 

Washington nodded, looking towards the sidewalk in front of them as they got further away from the bright light of the lamppost. “He thought it made sense.”

Tucker scoffed, looking away from Wash and towards the lit-up stores, bars, and restaurants on the street they were walking down in order to hide his smile. 

Washington glanced over at him and frowned, noticing him averting his gaze. “Sorry, we don’t have to talk about, uh, them, if you don’t want to.” He eased, not wanting to pressure Tucker. 

Wash was sure that Tucker knew he came the whole way out there to bring him back; even if none of them had said a word about it. Either way, Washington didn’t want to bring it up. He had to wait for the perfect moment and now was not the time. 

Right now, was their time. 

Tucker looked back over at Wash and put on a smile for him as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. “No, uh. It's fine.” He managed. “It's amusing.” He added, not wanting to upset Wash as Sigma kept telling him he would. 

Or as he assumed Sigma would if their thoughts weren’t such a jumbled mess in his head.

“How long have you been staying here?” Washington asked, casually changing the subject. 

Tucker glanced over at him and shrugged. 

When Wash was quiet and seemed like he was still expecting more of an answer, Lavernius tried to recall the blurred out events the month had brought him as he spoke again, wanting to give Washington the answer he wanted. 

“I dunno. I move around a lot.” Lavernius had told him, trying to divert eye contact as he felt a surge of anxiety rise in his gut. 

Lavernius didn’t want Wash to think he was fucked up for not talking or for not having a solid home or for- anything. He wanted to give Wash what he wanted and not be a disappointment or destroy their relationship more than he already had. He wanted to enjoy their one night before he would inevitably have to leave again. 

Washington deserved that much. 

David nodded, stepping down over a curb as they crossed the street; recalling a time back at Bravo when Tucker whined about wanting to be in some big fancy city on earth, rather than be running Wash’s stupid drills. “Is it everything you thought it’d be?” 

Lavernius frowned. 

What did he mean by that?

Was he referring to him leaving? Because he left for everyone’s own good and, no, it wasn’t as he imagined it. It was better.

Tucker didn’t pin Wash as the passive-aggressive type or the type to be judging him. Part of him knew that the words strung together under different context could have different meanings, but the way he said it didn’t seem so hateful. Although, that was the beauty of sarcasm.

Doubts formed in his mind and Lavernius couldn’t tell if they were his or the AIs. 

Tucker was left unsure of how to answer and instead stuck with, “Excuse me?”

Washington glanced over at him, noticing his harsher tone, and smiled, trying to ease some tension. “Living in a big city. It seemed to be something you wanted to do back in Crash Site Bravo.” 

“Oh,” Tucker mused. “I guess.”

He hadn’t known Washington was paying attention to anything he said back at Bravo, let alone would remember a single line he said multiple times. 

“I hadn’t really been around the city often enough to decide,” Tucker added, glancing forward on their path as he looked up at a tall building; lights shining from the individual windows cascading up it and the gated balconies aligned each one. “That’s the building.” He pointed out, moving to the left side of the sidewalk as Wash followed him to the entrance. “My room’s on the 5th floor.” 

Washington nodded, grabbing the large glass door handle leading into the building as he opened it for Tucker before shutting it after them as he followed him in. Tucker smiled at him, taking his hand in his own as he walked through the lobby of the apartment complex. 

The building was nice and like the casino, was accented with gold rims along walls and red carpeting. There was a large desk towards the left side of the lobby where Washington assumed guests checked in. Small tables and chairs were scattered neatly in the room, a newspaper rack visible near the check-in counter, and a noticeable lack of people were counted for as Tucker led them to the elevator, seeming to know the complex well. 

They both stepped in and it was silent as Tucker pressed the number ‘5’ button on the elevator. 

The silence was there, but the space between them sure as hell wasn’t. Tucker stood close to Wash, almost like he did it automatically, and let his hands grip the gold bar lining the elevator behind them. Still holding his hand, Tucker leaned against the back wall of the elevator, watching as the arrows above the door lit up as it rose. 

It wasn’t until the elevator doors opened did Tucker drop his hand and lead him out of the small space, rifling through his pockets for his keys as he turned left down the hall. 

Washington followed, watching as Tucker stopped at a door and pulled a set of keys from his pocket, unlocking the door, and pushing it open. 

Wash allowed Tucker to step in first and followed after him into his apartment, looking curiously around the area. 

He remembered Tucker telling him he hadn’t been there long, but the building seemed like it hadn’t been lived in at all. It smelt new, not like Tucker at all, and seemed almost untouched. 

Tucker walked further in, turning around in the middle of what looked to be a living room as he smiled at David; observing his reaction as he glanced around the room. Tucker kept his grin and gaze on Washington as he raised his arms at his side, showing off the apartment. 

Wash nodded, looking around. The interior was nice and well put together. The white of the walls mashed well with the darker furniture and it all seemed way too fucking neat to possibly be Tucker’s. 

It felt so depersonalized. The place itself held no originality. In a way, it seemed profoundly basic. “It’s nice.” Washington commented, looking back towards Tucker as he tried to keep his smile genuine. 

He wasn’t lying. It was nice, seemed incredibly expensive, it just didn’t feel like Tucker. 

Tucker let his hands drop, seeming pleased with Wash’s response. 

Was that a hint of pride he saw? 

“Want a beer?” Tucker asked him. 

“Sure.” 

Tucker nodded, leaving the living room and passing behind him into a more enclosed area that he could only assume was the kitchen. 

Washington glanced behind him at Tucker until he was out of sight before returning to look back around the room he was in. Stepping further in, he glanced down the hall to his left and noticed a particularly odd door at the end of the hall. 

He tilted his head, noticing the lock attached to the outside of the door. 

It was a chain and bolt lock and seemed like it held the purpose of keeping someone in a room, rather than to keep someone out. 

Washington raised a brow and took a step towards it, before Tucker walked back into the room, catching his attention as he turned back around.

Tucker strode over to him and handed him a beer bottle; cap off and liquid visibly inside. 

Wash decided to question the room with the lock on a later day. 

Lavernius pretended not to notice Wash’s snoopiness towards the door as he kept in front of him, making sure the other man’s attention was on him. “What do you want to do?” he asked, making sure he was specific when he said ‘do’. He didn’t want to talk. 

Washington thought about it for a moment, taking a sip from the drink Tucker provided. “Got any movies?” He asked. 

Lavernius’s expression dropped as he looked towards the living room. He didn’t have any DVDs or anything that wasn’t deemed a necessity. “We could rent one.” He suggested, turning to walk into the living room as he kneeled by the TV drawer and pulled out the remote. 

Washington noticed how everything was so neat as he followed him in and allowed himself to sit on the couch, leaning forward to place the bee, that he had only taken a few sips from, on the coffee table.

Everything had a place and was put away nicely, the couch was made, and all the lights remained off except for one in the living room; making it light enough to see, yet dark enough to sleep. 

Tucker turned around and handed Wash the remote, tugging off his jacket as he did and gesturing for Wash to do the same if he wanted to. 

Washington knew Tucker giving him the remote was his way of saying ‘you can turn on whatever you want’. Wash didn’t really watch TV, but he knew Tucker used to. Which was the reason it was the first thing that came to mind when he picked an activity.

Washington looked up at him, taking the remote and placing it next to him as he slid off his own jacket before getting up to hang it up somewhere. 

“I got it.” Tucker interrupted him, taking it from him and leaving the room. 

Washington nodded and sat back down, waiting for him to return. He got an idea and picked up the remote on the coffee table, looking down at it and scanning the controls before hitting the power button. 

The TV buzzed to life and Wash was quick to look through the apps provided, not sure what he was looking for, but knew one of the buttons had to lead him somewhere. 

When Tucker finally came back in, Wash had found what he was looking for. 

Tucker rounded the opposite end of the couch, sitting down and kicking his shoes off as he brought his legs up on the cushion, leaning against the backboard of the couch; draping his arms on the ledge, and letting his head rest between them. 

He seemed tired and stayed silent as the opening credits began playing to the movie Wash had chosen. 

Tucker had even closed his eyes, resting them as Wash glanced over at him. 

_ "Like a Virgin" is all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The whole song is a metaphor for big dicks.” One of the characters on the TV began saying. _

Tucker immediately opened his eyes and looked at the screen. 

_ “No, it's not. It's about a girl who is very vulnerable and she's been fucked over a few times. Then she meets some guy who's really sensitive--” A different character defended before being interrupted.  _

Tucker smiled and Wash almost melted at the sight. “Wash, you sly dog.” He laughed, looking over at him. “I can’t believe you just turned on Reservoir Dogs. You hate that movie.”

Wash shrugged as Tucker happily looked back on the screen, full attention devoted to his favorite movie. “Well, I figured maybe I’d like it better the 100th time around.” 

Tucker’s smile didn’t falter as the movie continued and Wash was just happy that the choice of film seemed to bring some life out of him. 

It was only around 40 minutes in when Tucker seemed to grow tired, letting his eyes close for short periods of time ever so often. 

Washington glanced over at one point, thinking he had fallen asleep, his own head still in his arms. 

He’d wake up and his arms would be numb if he slept through the night like that. 

Washington looked around Tucker at the blanket draped over the edge of the couch and reached an arm back. Tugging at the corner of it, he lightly swung it back over Tucker. 

Tucker restled for a moment before opening his eyes, darting them towards the TV and then towards Wash. He yawned, his eyes closing before he lifted his head from his arms and stretched slightly, scooting closer to Wash. 

Washington openly accepted him and Tucker rested his head against Wash’s chest, his eyes then falling shut. 

Washington froze, one arm draped above Tucker on the backboard of the couch as he looked at the comfortable male against his chest. 

He looked so peaceful. 

It almost made Wash forget about the demons in Tucker’s head constantly telling him what to do. 

Washington watched him for a second longer before realizing that while Tucker was comfortable, there was no way he’d be able to sleep in the sitting position he was in. 

Washington lightly lifted Tucker’s head up, hating to disrupt the peace. Tucker allowed him to do so, maintaining his drowsiness as he moved aside so Wash could bring his own legs up on the couch and lay down. 

Tucker rubbed at his eyes, feeling Washington stop moving and taking it as his cue to fall back down onto his chest, now closer to the edge of the couch as they remained in a sort of big spoon, little spoon position. 

Washington nuzzled against him, wrapping an arm over Tucker’s blanketed side as he let his own eyes fall shut

And briefly, for the first night in a long time, everything felt ok. 

  
When he woke up, Tucker was gone. 

Washington rubbed at his eyes, pulling the blanket off of him as he planted his feet on the ground. 

At first, he was confused. Being alone when he hadn’t fallen asleep that way made him think that maybe he had dreamt the whole thing. That’d he’d have to get up and endure the annoyingly cheerful Reds and Blues for breakfast and continue through another day, mindlessly and dully, just like the day before and the day before that.

But then he noted how he wasn’t in his bedroom. Which, by the way, had been growing increasingly unkempt as his care decreased. And he was still in his dress shirt and pants. 

So last night had happened, only Tucker wasn’t there. 

Washington lifted himself up from the couch, sliding his shoes on and stretching out the stiffness of the night. 

When his morning blurry vision cleared, he began looking around the apartment for Tucker.

The bathroom was empty…

The bedroom was empty...

The kitchen was empty… 

The second Bedroom was-

Wait a second.

Washington paused his movements and backtracked to the second bedroom door. It was the door at the end of the hall that he had seen bolted shut the previous night. 

Only now, the door was wide open; lock dangling from the side of the wall. 

Washington peered into the room, stepping further in and looking around. 

It seemed like a basic bedroom. 

A bed in the corner, a desk by the window, a closet closed tightly against the wall, only…

It looked like someone had definitely been living there, or at least staying in there. 

There was a tray with scraps of food and dishes on the desk and the bedsheets were shaken, scratch marks visible on the wooden bed frame. 

Washington didn’t want to enlighten the idea that someone had been kept in the room, but he knew he couldn’t fully debunk it. 

Sighing and stepping out of the room, Wash shut the door; not wanting to view the contents of the room anymore.

When Tucker was confirmed out of the apartment, he realized he had no way of knowing when he’d be back and that he might as well make himself busy. 

He almost contemplated finding a way to contact Tucker, but without any knowledge of how to do so, he decided to instead compose a plan for the day. 

Breakfast was first, he thought obviously as he headed towards the kitchen, opening a cupboard and seeming confused to find it mostly empty. He searched the rest of the cupboards and found them in a similar state. 

Wash sighed. Change of plans. 

He’d take a shower and then go grocery shopping, but he didn’t have any clean clothes to change into. 

Him and Tucker had walked from the Casino to his apartment so his ship was still parked in the Casino’s provided garage. 

He then compacted his lift of things to do that day in the following order. 

  1. Get his car



  1. Come home, take a shower, change into new clothes



  1. Go shopping



It was a solid enough plan and he was sure in its ability to keep him busy. 

He thought back to when he had been on Chorus after Tucker left. 

As gross as it sounded, back on Chorus, he wouldn’t have taken the time to go out and take care of himself; showering and getting good food. He wouldn’t have cared really. 

Today was the first time he felt motivated to do something in a long while. 

Part of him knew there was a chance it wouldn’t last. 

But he had ~~hope-~~

Scratch that. 

He had chosen to ignore that possibility. 

The other part of him was happy because Tucker gave him that motivation, and joy, and will, but it was also bad because he had only realized how miserable he had been back on Chorus until being with the teal soldier helped him grasp that happiness again. 

He hoped Tucker would be back soon. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuc Tuc noooo

“He’s all yours,” Lavernius spoke up, causing the people in the room to look over at him. He gripped the scratchy rope tie keeping the man restrained and then threw him to the ground in front of the table the people were surrounded by. 

The man fell to the ground easily. Tired and weak as he managed to bring his head up to look at the woman standing above him. “Please, I just need more time.” He blabbered. “I can get it to you.” 

Lavernius watched as the women laughed. She was the same woman who hired him to scare the guy at the bar in the first place. 

Tucker thought-

He had hoped that the man would have made the smart decision to either pay back what he owed or run as far away from the city as he could, but he didn’t. 

It was like he didn’t even care. 

He knew there was a threat; a person that could wreak his entire world and flip it straight upside down and he chose to endure it. 

Images of Wash entering his life again flashed through his mind and Lavernius wondered if he was the sitting duck in that situation; just waiting for whatever horrible thing would happen if he chose to live with the possible threat. 

“Please, Maze.” The man begged, reaching a hand out towards her helplessly.

Lavernius didn’t make any move to leave yet. After all, he hadn’t been paid. He was paid for scaring him, but not for kidnapping him and the act of bringing him to her. 

He wasn’t really complaining about the wait though. It was entertaining enough to watch Maze work and he knew the money for the job would be worth it.

Maze chuckled, taking the hard end of her leather boots and stomping down hard on his outstretched hand, digging her boot further into the knuckles. 

It wasn’t his fault that one man’s misery was his paycheck.

The man howled in pain, quickly retracting his hand as he whimpered. “Please, I have a daughter.” He tried again. 

Lavernius had believed him when he said he loved his girl, but seeing him now; on the ground with a broken knuckle, after making no action to prevent said fate, he knew he had been bullshitted to. 

“If you really cared about her, you wouldn’t be here.” Maze snipped harshly as she kneeled in front of him; her long, brown, curly hair cascading down her shoulders as she pulled out her knife. 

It was a dark blade that curled at the tip and looked as dangerous as it did horrifying. She placed the knife under his chin and wasn’t aiming for gentleness as she brought his chin upright; their eyes locking.

“Do you know how much money you owe me?” She questioned in a whispered tone. “Enough that I’ll have to gain it back by selling your body parts.” She snarled, pressing the knife harshly into the skin of his exposed neck.

_ “He’s still a person,” _ A quiet voice told him in the back of his mind. 

The voice reminded him perhaps of Iota, but that AI had made so very few appearances since he left Chorus. And so many thoughts were swirling around in his head that they had blended together too smoothly. He couldn’t pick apart who's were who's anymore.

“Get him out of my sight.” Maze practically growled, picking herself up off the ground. 

Lavernius watched as a few people from behind the table rushed over, aggressively grabbing the man's arms and dragging him away. 

Maze dusted off her black ripped jeans and tucked the slightly bloody knife delicately into her boot. She sighed, looking up at Tucker with a smile. 

“Tuc!” She greeted with a grin. 

“Lavernius.” He corrected. 

She rolled her eyes, but her smile remained all the same on her face. “Whatever,” She responded, turning around and picking something up off the table. 

Lavernius stepped closer to her, watching as she turned around and held out a white envelope. “It’s all in there.” She told him confidently as she handed it to him. 

Tucker checked anyway. 

“You have no trust in me.” Maze scoffed as he left the building. 

_ “He was a person.”  _ The voice reminded him.

* * *

Washington picked up the candle on the counter and smelled it. Placing it back on the shop counter, he sighed. 

He wasn’t sure what he was looking for exactly. 

He just wanted something that smelt like home. 

Washington turned the corner of the aisle and stuffed his hands in his zip-up jacket pockets; having had retrieved his ship from the parking lot of the casino and gone through his packed bag inside a while ago. 

Of course, he was careful enough to disable the many trackers on the Chorus vehicle. 

He didn’t need to remove the one from his own armor, however, as he had removed it years ago. 

To be honest, he tried his damned hardest not to be tracked. He knew if Carolina knew where he was going, she wouldn’t tolerate it at all. She had tried her best to help him get over Tucker leaving on Chorus, but she just said all the things that everyone else was telling him. It ended up giving the words no impact at all. 

“It’ll get better.”

“It’s not your fault.” 

“There was nothing you could have done to prevent it.” 

“You need to get over it.” Of course, she didn’t phrase it like that, but Washington always knew what she was aiming for. 

She’d get frustrated too when he wouldn’t listen. Part of her just couldn’t understand why he would cling so tightly to being miserable over Tucker’s absence. 

Truth be told, Washington couldn’t help it. And he couldn’t explain it either. So instead, he listened as she explained her opinion and told him that maybe Tucker leaving was for the best and that he should talk to Grey more and yadda, yadda, yadda. 

He was talking to Grey and it wasn’t helping. 

Carolina had mentioned something about Maine during that time too and how Washington refused to get over him just like he was with Tucker. 

Wash didn’t know if she said that to convince him to try harder to cope or not, but either way, it didn’t work. Because he was trying. 

But it was especially hard to try harder at something when you don’t see the point in it. 

And even when he had finally accepted Maine’s death and everything that had happened, it was Tucker who helped him do that and at the time, he didn’t have Tucker anymore. 

Carolina tried to help but, again, she did what everybody else did; expressed their worries and tried to tell him what he should do about it. 

But when Tucker helped him, he never did that.

After what happened with the Meta, Tucker gave him a place to stay, and instead of helping him the way everybody else was; he was more focused on being good company to Wash and making sure he was sleeping and eating. And not just, “Hey Wash, you dumbass get over here and eat.” 

It was more like he'd purposely cook food he knew Wash liked via trial and error, observing Wash’s interest when the kitchen smelled like pancakes, v.s when it smelled like chicken. And if he woke up to the smell of pancakes one day and wanted to eat it, he would. But it took time and trust for Wash to realize that Tucker just wanted to help him and for him to finally sit down at that goddamned table and eat the food Tucker had made for him.

And if Wash went too long without sleeping, Tucker would sneak into his room or meet him up on the rooftop and stay with him. 

It didn’t matter that Tucker was exhausted, he wouldn’t sleep until Wash did. 

He’d sit there and talk to Wash about his son and he wouldn’t push Wash to contribute to the conversation unless he wanted to. 

And when Tucker slowly started slipping away; becoming a person Wash couldn’t recognize; he was bombarded with flashbacks of Maine and was ripped from everything he and Tucker used to do. 

And he missed him. 

He couldn’t even fully grasp the words to explain all that to himself. So how was he supposed to explain something like that to Carolina? How does one even go about explaining their reasoning for ditching everything and running after the person who gave them everything?

* * *

When Tucker arrived back at his apartment, (he couldn’t call it a home. It wasn’t a home) something was wrong. 

He stepped into the doorway with a confused look on his face and an odd scent in the air. 

The place reeked of something sweet and all the lights were on, too bright for him to even recognize the apartment as his own. 

He walked further in, pulling the gun out from his pocket and sliding it onto the table in the front hallway. He stopped in the middle of the entrance, grabbing his black hoodie off the hanger and pulling it over his shirt; hiding the bit of blood splattered on it, as he continued walking into the apartment. 

He turned the corner and curiously looked into the kitchen, surprised when he found Wash in there, over a cutting board of carrots. 

Lavernius didn’t say anything at first; just watched as Washington continued not to notice him behind the counter. 

“You're still here.” Tucker finally said; more of a question than a statement or acute observation. 

Washington looked up at him, noticing him for the first time since he came in. “Of course I am.” He told him, scoffing as if it was ridiculous to think he wouldn’t be. His response was immediate and so sure of himself that Tucker almost felt bad for saying anything. 

Lavernius nodded, looking around the house and seeing a candle lit in his living room on the coffee table. The curtains were pulled back too, revealing the buildings across the street from the complex and the light of the day. “It smells nice.” He commented, looking back towards Washington.

Washington nodded, taking the vegetables in front of him and using the end of the knife to slide them into a nearby bowl. “Yea, I made dinner.” He told him, taking the bowl and sliding it near the edge of the counter where there was ample seating. “You didn’t actually have anything in your cupboards so I had to go shopping.” 

It couldn’t last. It couldn’t last. It wouldn’t last, bits and pieces of thoughts screamed at him as Lavernius watched Wash get out some forks. 

Was Wash his inevitable demise?

His thoughts tied back to how they were earlier; watching that man get hurt because he refused to eliminate the very obvious threat right in front of him. 

Lavernius couldn’t tell whether Wash was the threat to him, or if he was the threat to Wash. Either way, he didn’t want to find out. 

“Wash…” He started to say with a sigh. 

Washington shook his head, placing the fork next to a food-filled plate. “Come eat.” He told him instead, a way of him avoiding the very obvious argument that was approaching. 

Lavernius knew he was changing the subject by redirecting his attention. Him recognizing that fact didn’t stop him from falling for it though. 

Tucker lingered in the kitchen entrance for a moment longer before he walked over and pushed the seat under the table with his foot; choosing to stand and eat, rather than sit. 

He looked down at the plate and almost laughed at how horribly cliche it all was. With Wash, he could close his eyes at any time and pretend he hadn’t just gotten back from a mercenary job. 

“You didn’t have to do this.” Tucker told him, picking up the nearby fork and pushing his food around with it. 

Washington made himself a plate, looking up at him. “I wanted to.” He said truthfully. 

Tucker sighed, averting his eye contact with him. 

_ “We should have made up with Wash before we left.” Tucker remembered Theta commenting a year ago on the outskirts of Chorus. _

_ “It’s better if he hates us.” He recalled telling the AI. _

He didn’t want Wash to be nice to him. He didn’t want him to be here. 

Ok, that wasn’t true. 

He wanted him there, but he didn’t want to know what would happen if he stayed. 

Anxiety pooled in his stomach and panic raised at an excelling pace as voices whispered to him in the back of his mind. He did his best not to show his emotions as he picked up a piece of food with his fork and put it into his mouth; not realizing how hungry he actually was until he finally ate something. 

He didn’t recall eating anything that day. 

3 meals a day. 8am, 12pm, 5pm. Come on, Lavernius. You knew this. 

The truth of the matter was that he felt guilty eating the food. He didn’t deserve it. He was horrible to Wash. 

Who gave him the right to come out all this way, be nice to him, clean his house, and make him dinner after a year of silence because of something Tucker had caused. 

The AIs grew increasingly angry at Wash’s presence, punishing him by growing louder in his thoughts. 

_ “You’re breaking the arrangement.” Unintelligible voices rang. “Get him out.” They snarled.  _

But Tucker did nothing. 

He kept quiet because he knew if he said anything, all those thoughts would become harsh words that he would direct at Wash. It’d be much more beneficial for everyone to bottle it up. 

Washington paused eating and Tucker could tell he wanted to ask something. 

He pretended not to notice it. 

“What was behind the door?” Wash asked him curiously, _attempting_ a casual tone. 

Lavernius knew what he was talking about the second he asked about it. He was referring to the door he was keeping that sorry excuse for a man in while he worked on other things and waited for Maze to get back into town.

He knew what door he was talking about, but something in his mind told him to play dumb. He assumed it was Gamma, but his thoughts sounded like his own now. 

“Which door?” Tucker asked, looking up at him and taking a bite of his food; seeming dumbfound to what Wash was referring to. 

Wash kept calm, somewhat disappointed that he hadn’t received a straight answer and that Tucker was still playing  _ that _ game with him. 

He genuinely didn’t understand why Tucker always insisted on answering questions he already knew the answer to with a lie. Was he afraid Wash would be disappointed in him or something? He hoped not. He really wanted Tucker to be able to give him a true answer and open up to him better. 

“The door that had a lock on it yesterday.” Washington told him. 

“I took the lock off.” 

Technically wasn’t a lie. 

“Yea, but what was behind it?” Washington asked again, not having received an answer yet. 

“Work stuff,” He said. “I didn’t want anyone breaking in while I was gone.” He added, trying to deflect the suspicion off it with somewhat viable reasoning. 

Washington nodded, letting it go. 

It may have still been bullshit, but at least it was something. 

“Does that happen often?” He asked him, redirecting the conversation to something more casual. 

Tucker shrugged, saying nothing more as he continued picking at his food. 

_ “Washington has been in your life for a day and you’ve already started your relationship off with a lie.” _

_ “Typical.” _

Lavernius let those words linger in his mind as they finished eating and Washington collected his plate and put it in the sink for him. 

-for him-

When he had first given birth to Junior, he hated it. It hurt like hell and he was furious that it had all happened against his will and out of his control. He didn’t want Junior and he was glad that that stupid fucking alien died because, fuck you, that's what you get for being a raping asshole. 

But then-

Then he held Junior and listened to his nonsensical babbles. 

He remembered Doc’s smile and Church’s glare, but he had paid no mind to it and instead, focused on the alien baby in his arms. 

He was beautiful. 

And all Tucker’s.

And Tucker wanted him. 

And just like that, he was attached. 

Lavernius looked up at Wash and he knew, the longer he held on to Wash, the harder it would be when he had to let him go. 

The worse it would hurt when he would inevitably hurt him. 

Because of course, he would. 

He would injure him or betray him and David would leave. Or maybe Wash would grow a fucking brain and realize that Tucker was a lost cause and he would leave back to Chorus where Carolina and Caboose and everybody else would await him with open arms. 

Multiple voices in his mind agreed with these thoughts and stacked on more evidence and doubts until Tucker had realized he had been staring off into space for far too long and Wash was now looking at him with this worried expression. 

“Tucker,” He said quietly; trying to snap him out of it as he stepped forward. “Are you ok?”

Lavernius looked towards him as he watched his worried expression. Tugging his hoodie over his head, he nodded and stepped away from the counter. 

“Are you sure?” Washington asked, extending a hand towards him. 

Tucker swatted his hand away. “Yes. stop it.”

Washington looked taken back as a confused expression formed on his face. “Stop what?”

Tucker groaned, turning away from him. “Stop being so nice.” He exasperated, moving out of the kitchen. 

Washington followed after, a chuckle escaping from his mouth as he thought Tucker was joking. 

Lavernius frowned. It wasn’t funny. He was being serious.

“What?” Wash questioned, somewhat playfully, but obviously confused with the request. 

How could he even ask that? Didn’t he know what he was doing? 

“Stop being so nice!” Lavernius repeated, turning back to look at him. “I left you, I abandoned you!” He stressed. “I literally knocked you down and lied to you, time and time again.” He paused, biting back tears as Washington frowned. “Why are you being nice?”

Washington paused, taken back. But quickly his frown turned into a soft, but reassuring smile. “Tucker...you know I love you, right?” 

“How can you still love me after all of that?”

“I-” 

Lavernius couldn’t let him explain himself. He was sure he had a long, meaningful explanation involving cool nights on top of their old base, and early morning runs, and the same radio station they’d listen to. And Tucker knew if he let him explain, he wouldn’t be able to let him go. 

“Wash I can’t-” He interrupted. “You can’t- We can’t.” He paused, unsure of how he could phrase what he wanted to say. 

When he knew he wouldn’t be able to figure it out, he frowned, turning for the door. “I have to go.” He mumbled, pushing out towards the door and slamming it hard before Washington could even get another word out. 

The door rattled and something fell off the hallway wall and shattered onto the tiled floor below. 

Washington sighed, moving forward and leaning down to pick up bits of glass. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigma is such a little b****

Washington pushed open the glass door to the apartment complex; crossing his arms over his chest as a cool wind blew by him. 

Tucker hadn’t left to the lobby, cafeteria, or the indoor gym, so the only other logical place he could have gone in such a short amount of time was outside.

Even back at Chorus, Tucker was always good at finding peaceful spots to escape to. Most of the time, it was quiet, outside areas where people wouldn’t usually go to. 

Washington rounded the corner of the large complex as he spotted what he had seen when Tucker first brought him to the building. 

And what was the closest quiet outdoor area Wash could think of?

The sectioned off pool near the back of the hotel. 

Who would go in there in the freezing cold at 8 pm at night?

Only someone that wanted to be alone.

Washington stepped closer to the black gate surrounding the pool area. Reaching his hand up to unlock the gate, he pulled it open with an obnoxious creaking noise ricketing his ears. 

He had caught a glimpse of the pool earlier but had underestimated just how large it actually was. There were white plastic chairs and tables neatly stacked up for the night, ‘no running’ signs plastered on every new corner of the gate, and dark blue tiles surrounding the edge of the pool. 

The sun had already set, leaving the small area lit up by only the moon. But It wasn’t dark enough that he couldn’t see. In fact, the light from the moon reflected off the pool water, creating a shiny, rippled glow that bounced off the sides of the pool and gave the pool water a sparkling effect. So, everything had lit up pretty well on its own. 

Washington closed the gate behind him, the same unnerving creaking noise erupting from the rusty bolts once more. He turned around, only having to walk a few feet before he spotted Tucker sitting by the edge of the deep end. He was sitting crisscrossed, his elbows leaning on his knees as he stared out into the pool water. 

Washington thought Tucker always had a sort of glow to him. It helped that his tattoos and eyes were bright teal. But now was way different. The light from the moon and water made them look absolutely beautiful under the night sky; making it so that Washington couldn’t help but stare as he approached him. 

Tucker didn’t look over at him, but Wash knew he sure as hell heard the creaky gate and his footsteps as he got closer. “Come inside please,” Washington begged him quietly as he stopped before him and stuffed his hands into his front pockets. “It’s cold.” 

Tucker didn’t look up at him, but Washington did notice that he began tugging on the end of his hoodie sleeve with one of his hands. It was a sly way for him to fiddle and also convinced Wash that he was really thinking of a response to give him. 

“Why?” Tucker asked him coldly, his voice not angry, but stern. 

“Because it’s too cold,” Washington explained, looking towards whatever Tucker was looking at. He sighed when Tucker didn’t respond before he continued explaining. “You’ll freeze to death out here and--” 

“No. Why now?” Tucker interrupted, stopping his fiddling as he turned to look up at Washington. “Why now are you here?”

Washington paused, locking his own dull brown eyes with Tucker’s gorgeous, teal, glowing ones. He looked genuinely confused and Washington felt somewhat guilty for causing it. 

He never would have thought to think that maybe Tucker was better off like this. 

In fact, the more Wash thought about it, he left because _he_ needed to see Tucker. Not the other way around. 

Washington bit his lip, looking away from Tucker and into the night sky, before he moved to sit down near the edge of the pool, next to him.

“Tucker,” He began softly, looking his way. “I was miserable without you.” 

At first, Tucker perceived those words as sweet. They made him feel like he actually mattered to someone. That was until something gnawed at the back of his mind and Tucker frowned, looking away from Wash. 

“Oh, so you're doing this for you.” 

Washington looked somewhat startled at his words. Not really offended, just somewhat surprised and regretful. “Wait, that’s not what I meant.” He said quickly. “Just let me finish.” 

Tucker sighed, looking back over at him. “Wash-” He exasperated quietly.

“Tucker.” Wash countered.

Tucker sighed as he suddenly stopped talking, turning to look back at the pool as he continued fiddling with the end of his sleeve. 

Wash took that as his cue to continue. 

“You left and I-” He paused. “I knew why and I knew that I was upset at you. But I didn’t want you to leave. And when you did, everything I was mad about melted away and I realized that this is hard for you and while I was supposed to be helping you make the right decisions, I was too busy getting mad at you for making the wrong ones. 

Tucker refused to meet his eyes, but Wash knew he was listening. 

“I felt so guilty for that,” Wash said quietly, his fist curled up at his side. “But that doesn’t mean that my need to resolve something was what drove me to you. I missed you so much it hurt and when I saw an opportunity to see you again, I took it without hesitation.” 

Lavernius pondered on those words for a moment.

Without hesitation? None at all?

Surely it could have been without any hesitation whatsoever. Although Washington was a stubborn asshole, he wasn’t the type to just drop everything based upon a poor, impulsive decision. 

Part of him couldn’t believe what Washington was telling him. Probably the AIs he assumed as he couldn't remember doubting Wash before Church’s sacrifice. 

He tried to put himself back into that mindset because why would Washington ever lie to him?

Why would he be here if he didn’t want to be? 

Lavernius had assumed it was because he felt guilty, but here Wash was telling him his want for Tucker outweighed that so much more.

But he just couldn’t believe that. Why couldn’t he believe that?

Lavernius was snapped out of his thoughts, noticing that Wash had stopped talking and was still looking over at him, probably awaiting some sort of confirmation or well, something. Tucker cleared his throat and traced his finger along the pavement below him, scratching at a loose tile by the pool. 

And that was when something else plagued his mind. 

If Washington found him because an ‘opportunity arose’ what was that opportunity? And was he in danger of being tracked down by more people?

“What was the opportunity that occurred?” Tucker asked him softly, still not looking him in the eyes. 

Washington was quiet for a moment, leaving Tucker to believe he was gathering his thoughts or deciding how much of the truth he actually wanted to tell him. 

“Locus came to Chorus, I asked him about you and he told me where he knew you would be.” Wash put simply.

Tucker turned to look at him, surprised when Washington told him the full truth and nothing but the truth without so much of a hesitation. 

Part of him realized that Wash was completely willing to tell him the truth and he felt slightly bad for not doing the same. If Wash was willing to open up to him and keep all confessions out in the open air, then shouldn’t Tucker make the same effort? 

He gathered from mixed thoughts that it wouldn’t really matter much in the long run what he did and didn’t tell Wash, so what was the point in lying?

Secrecy was another thing, however. Lavernius felt as if it was different from lying and therefore more excusable. After all, Wash probably held some secrecy towards him. 

Tucker assumed that secrecy stemmed from Wash's motives for staying with Tucker. 

Lavernius stared at Washington for a second longer, trying to determine what he wanted him to say. 

Tucker sighed. “What do you want from me, Wash?”

Washington shrugged, readjusting his seating position on the concrete so that he was closer to Tucker and able to look out onwards the pool more easily. “I just want you, Tucker.” He replied quietly; almost like he didn’t know how Tucker would react.

Lavernius paused. 

The AIs told him to push him away. 

To react in anger and tell Wash that he didn’t love him and that he needed to go back home. To tell him that he was wasting his time and then get up and walk away and to never look back. They wanted Lavernius to get rid of him or get as far away from him as possible. 

The old Tucker probably would have laughed and called him cheesy for saying something as sweet as he did. He’d smiled brightly at the man in front of him and then they’d go home together and join the Reds and Blues in their shenanigans and everything would be ok. 

But Lavernius couldn’t decide between either of those. He was stuck in the middle; his past trying to pull him back and his present trying to pull him forward.

So instead of doing just one, Lavernius did both. 

Tucker sighed, looking out towards the pool as he let his head rest against Wash’s shoulder. “You should go home.” He told him regrettably. 

He didn’t want Wash to go home. God, he really didn’t. But he knew it’d be better for everyone if he did. 

Washington turned, kissing the top of his head; the skin barely touching his own. As if Wash didn’t know if the action was the right one or not. “I know.” He said quietly. So quietly, Tucker wouldn’t have heard it if he weren’t right there next to him. “But I’m not going to.” He finished, settling his head next to Tucker’s as he wrapped an arm around the back of his waist. 

“Thanks,” Tucker mumbled back as he let out a breath of relief that he hadn’t known he’d been holding. 

* * *

“You- um. You don’t have to sleep on the couch.” Tucker told Wash as he draped a blanket across the back of the couch cushion.

Washington paused what he was doing, looking up at him as he waited for Tucker to finish the offer. 

“I don’t mind if you share my room with me.” Tucker added.

Wash nodded, dropping the blanket. “Alright,” He agreed with a smile. 

“Just don’t steal all the blankets or something.” Tucker tried to joke like he used to. He wasn’t exactly sure if he pulled it off as Washington walked past him in the hallway, heading towards his room. 

He was really trying to do what he thought Wash would like. 

And he didn’t really know why.

_ “It's because you’re trying to be who he wants you to be.”  _ A robotic voice told him. 

“Are you coming?” Washington asked, turning back to look at him; oblivious to the battle coursing through Lavernius’s mind.

_ “If you be who he wants, he won’t leave you.”  _

“In just a second.” Tucker told him. 

_ “He wants Tucker.” Another voice cackled. _

Washington nodded, turning to leave as he left Tucker alone in the hallway.

_ “But you’re not Tucker.” A voice hissed over the others.  _

Lavernius knew that. 

But he also knew how to pretend. 

Fake it till you make it right?

For the first time in a long time, Sigma’s voice became abundantly clear in his mind; taking over all brainwaves with harsh words and shutting out all white noise. 

_ “What happens when you screw up?” Sigma questioned, something excited lingering in his tone. _

And like clockwork, images flashed through his mind as a result of Sigma’s doing. 

Images of Chorus, in a small secluded room.    
  


Images of Tucker at one end of a table, his sword aglow, and a captured space pirate on the other end. 

“You are going to fuck up and when you do; you’re going to wish I was still here with my brain full of information to get you off this damned planet.” 

Lavernius stared at the wall ahead of him, recalling the pirates' words. 

“It won’t happen.” Tucker had reiterated at the time, holding his activated sword at the ready. “I will never end up like you. You’re a bad guy. The type that kills people for fun and never realizes the amount of danger he’s in.”

Lavernius couldn’ve laughed hysterically now at the irony.

“And do you know what happens when people don’t understand something?” Lavernius remembered the Pirate asking him; a grin plastered on his stupid fucking face. 

_ “They grow to fear it.” Sigma finished for him. “Remember that?”  _

Lavernius nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat as he glanced towards the end of his hall at the door Washington had entered. 

Sigma putting those images in his mind was a warning and Lavernius knew it. 

_ “Just looking out for you.”  _ Sigma said, somewhat sweetly. 

His words almost sounded like Felix's’ when he said them. 

Tucker closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and headed for his bedroom. 

When he entered, sounds could be heard in the bathroom. Tucker assumed it was Wash brushing his teeth. 

Lavernius walked further in, Sigma’s words still playing in his ear as he stepped over to the bed and slowly sat back on it. 

Washington emerged from the in-room bathroom a second later, shrugging his jacket off and swapping his jeans for sweats.

Tucker didn’t pay him much mind; couldn’t if he wanted to. His mind was still too engaged in the thoughts running through his mind. He could feel a panicked feeling in his gut and his heart racing as he stared dully at the ceiling above him. 

He wasn’t panicked really on the thoughts. It wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to hearing all the time back on Chorus. He was mainly panicking about the feeling they were giving him. Sigma was pushing every button he knew he had; telling him about all the fucked-up shit that would happen if he continued to let Wash stay. 

And he was doing a damn fine job of it too; bringing up factual memories, convincing references, and thoughts from Chorus that Tucker was sure he had suppressed. 

It was Wash being there that scared him, yet he couldn’t find a good enough reason for him to have to leave. 

“Everything alright?” Washington asked him as he approached the bed. 

Tucker nodded, staying silent as he let his eyes dart away from the ceiling. He brought his legs up onto the bed and lifted the neat, unused, bedsheet and scooted underneath it. “Can you turn off the light?” Tucker asked, rolling onto his side and resting his head on his hands. 

Washington complied and the room went dark a second later. 

Tucker forced his eyes shut, trying not to think of the fragments’ thoughts as he felt a dip in the bed next to him.

Washington made no move to touch him. Voices said it was because he didn’t want to, but Tucker knew, or assumed really, that Wash just wanted to give him his own space to decide. 

Taking a deep breath, Tucker opened his eyes and rolled over to see Wash laying down under the covers and facing the opposite wall. His breathing was steady as he remained still. 

But if Tucker knew any better, he’d say he was still awake.

Tucker bit his lip, scooting closer to Wash as he draped an arm over his side. 

He hoped if anyone could quiet the noises in his head, it’d be Wash. 

He heard Washington’s breathing slow slightly as he felt him reach up from underneath the covers and firmly hold the hand Tucker had draped over him.

Tucker ignored how the panic in his gut hitched and closed his eyes once more. 

The thoughts didn’t stop. 

When he opened his eyes, he was in a new area. 

The walls around him were thin and a pool of water covered the bottom of the hard floor, rising just below his ankles. The water reflected off the steel walls around him and although there was no sound, there was a coolness to the room; forcing him to cross his arms over his chest to keep warm. 

The steel of the walls showed his reflection when he looked at it and as he stepped forward, walking down the long room, the construction behind him dissipating into nothingness. 

He kept walking, looking down at his feet as he did; noticing how the water sloshing around didn’t make any noise. The clear liquid moved in ripples and he only stopped walking when the color of the water went from clear to red. 

He looked up, his heart dropping as he noticed a lump of black laying in front of him. 

Arms and limbs sprawled out, convincing Lavernius the lump was a body. He only started feeling remorse for the dead when he noticed fluff of blond poking out from the top of the pile.

_ wash. _

A red-orangey glow emitted from behind the body as the walls behind him slowly evaporated and the bloody water at his feet started rising. 

Laughter riveted through his mind and Tucker glared. 

“Sigma, stop.” He demanded, his words echoing around the room. 

The walls inched closer to him and the water rised closer to his knees. 

_ “I didn’t do anything.”  _

The water rose higher from a source behind the body, causing the lump to slump over and reveal a teal glow emitting from it. 

Horrified; Lavernius tried to step back, only to back into the moving wall behind him.

That was his sword. 

His sword impaled him. 

Impaled Wash.

He did this.

Tucker woke with a gasp. 

Catching his breath, he dropped Wash’s hand and moved his own to linger above Washington’s heart. Feeling a steady heartbeat, Tucker let out a sigh of relief as he glanced towards the digital clock on his bedside table. 

_ 3:06 am  _

Lavernius closed his eyes, anger resonating in him.

“Stop it.” He ordered Sigma quietly. 

Sigma smiled at him smugly, daring him to fall asleep once more. The same excitement he held earlier, returning. 

Did he think this was funny?

_ “Leave Washington.” Sigma hissed.  _

It was an ultimatum. 

Abandon Washington or more nightmares, screamed thoughts, and day-to-day torture. 

_ “If you leave right now, he won’t notice.”  _

Tucker closed his eyes and forced himself back to sleep. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You guys wanna see domesticity?
> 
> Here ya go! <3

The male bartender looked over at him, washing a glass in his hands as he gave him a warm smile. “What can I get for you?” He asked, an Australian accent leaking through his words. 

Lavernius looked up at him from his head spot between his arms on the countertop. “Water is fine.” He answered. 

The bartender nodded, taking the glass in his hand and filling it up with the tap next to the counter. He scooped a few ice cubes into it to top it off and slid it over to Tucker before walking away to help other customers. 

Lavernius reached out from his comfortable position to grab the glass and took a sip from it. He scowled slightly when he saw someone sit next to him out of the corner of his eye. 

Although, he should have expected they would be here. He knew what he was doing when he came to ‘Junior’s bar’ of all places. 

“Awe miss me already?” A sultry voice asked him. 

Tucker placed his cup down and looked over at Maze, who perched herself delicately on the bar stool table next to him. She had her hair down as always, the curls mostly covering her right eye (not that she could see from it anyway as she had lost that ability to a knife fight a while back), and she smiled smugly at him; one leg over the other; her skin showing through her ripped jeans. 

“No.” Lavernius retorted, trying his best to make his words seem harsh so she’d take the hint and leave him alone. “Just didn’t want to be at my place.” 

It wasn’t necessarily that he didn't want to be there, he just felt like he didn’t belong there at the moment. 

Mainly because he knew Wash would be there and he felt nervous about that. 

Tucker hadn’t spent more than a few hours with him awake and talking and doing stuff since he arrived. And considering the nightmares, he especially didn’t want to see what happened when he stuck around Wash for too long. 

The AIs knew exactly how to push him towards the edge and lately, it felt like that edge was getting closer and closer. 

He could feel it too. 

The hitch of agitation he got when something didn’t work the way he wanted it to, or the anxious feeling he got when Wash got just a little too close. 

Of course, he didn’t tell Wash about any of that. He’d probably take it the wrong way. 

It wasn’t that Tucker didn’t want to be near him, it was just that it scared the shit out of him. Especially when he knew Wash being there would eventually lead up to the point where Wash would ask him to come back to Chorus with him. 

He knew it was coming, didn’t mean any of them were necessarily in a rush to talk about it. 

Apparently, the hint Tucker tried to give Maze wasn’t taken because she leaned her elbow on the table with a grin. “So you came here?” She questioned. “I’m flattered.” 

Lavernius rolled his eyes. “Don’t get a big head about it,” He chastised her. “This is the only other place I can go.”

“Well don’t sound so hurt by it,” Maze commented, waving the bartender over to her. 

The bartender complied instantly, giving her a way slyer smile than he gave Tucker. 

“You chose this life.” She finished, turning to look at the bartender. “Coke and rum.” She instructed, batting her eyelashes. “What do you want, Tuc?” She then asked Tucker, redirecting her attention towards him. 

“Nothing.” 

“Awe, don’t be lame.” She deflected, disappointed with his response. “Lemma buy your sorry ass a drink.”

“I’m good.” Tucker reiterated. 

“He’ll have a Gin and Juice,” She told the bartender. “Throw a cute umbrella in there or something.” 

Tucker rolled his eyes as a second later, the bartender came back, sliding a tall glass with orangey-yellow liquid in it. He reached for his glass of water, pouring some into the alcohol; effectively watering down the liquid as he raised a brow at the blue umbrella sticking out of his drink. 

He plucked it out, flicking it onto the bar table as he took a sip of his drink. 

“Who shit in your coffee this morning?” Maze asked him, spinning her bar stool slightly to be able to face him better. 

“No one,” Tucker told her. 

“Aw, come on spill.” Maze pleaded. “Is it a girl? Your son? Unhappy with your current living conditions? Just got your AIDS test results back?” She chuckled at her own joke, laughing a little harder at Tucker's displeased expression. “Stop me if I guessed it.” 

When Tucker didn’t react, she smiled once more as she brought her glass up to her lips. “It’s a girl, isn’t it?”

“Something like that.” Tucker responded. 

“Welp, can’t help you there.” Maze informed, laughing a little.

Lavernius scoffed. “Of course not, you can’t keep a girl for longer than a week.” 

“Hey, don’t go shitting on my record.” Maze joked. “I'm proud of that score.” 

Tucker forced a laugh, looking away from her. “Of course you are. 

* * *

Washington blinked his eyes awake, rubbing them tiredly as he looked around the room. The curtains covered the windows completely, as Tucker liked them, so it didn’t take long for Wash to be able to see clearly without the blinding light of the day. 

He leaned to the side and flicked the dim bedside table lamp on and frowned somewhat suddenly as he noticed an empty space in the bed where Tucker had slept the previous night. 

Washington sighed. 

He wished he’d stay at least till Wash woke up. 

Each morning had felt like the aftermath of a one night stand. 

Wash didn’t want to say anything, but it made him feel somewhat ignored. 

Stretching in the bed slightly, Wash groaned, releasing the night’s tension as he stood up and made his way to the bathroom. 

He shut the door behind him, just in case, and turned on the sink’s faucet. Cupping a handful of water in his hands, he leaned down and splashed it on his face, and reached out for the hand towel on the wall rack. He dried his face quickly and finished up his mundane routine by brushing his teeth. 

He left the bathroom then and headed for the kitchen; making himself a coffee and cursing himself for not blowing the candle out on the kitchen counter before he went to bed the previous night.

When the pot of coffee finished boiling, he poured himself some from the mug he had to buy the other day because Tucker barely had any kitchen appliances and began walking back to the bedroom; taking a long drawn out sip from his drink as he did. 

Placing his mug on the bedside table, he went into the closet to change; coming out in basic jeans and a tee. 

It was a normal, every morning routine that he had adopted a long time ago. 

He only put a pause in that said routine when he heard a slight ping noise coming from the bathroom. 

Washington halted his movements, glancing towards the bathroom door and walking in. He inspected the small room and heard the noise again; only this time, louder. Walking over to the sink, Wash noticed water dripping steadily from the sink and promptly pressed further down on the sink handle, hoping to stop the water. 

The water stopped, but the faint pinging noise didn’t. 

Wash leaned down, opening the sink cabinet down below. He looked up into the pipes and noticed a loose tube as well as an indistinguishable pool of water resonating at the bottom of the cabinet. 

“Well, fuck.” He muttered, reaching his hands under and into the cabinet as he attempted to connect the tubes together. 

However, that only seemed to make the problem worse. 

Washington sighed, searching the apartment for towels and duct tape. When he found neither, but the hand towel he used earlier, he grabbed his coffee mug and dumped the remaining contents in the kitchen sink before placing his mug under the sink where the water dripped steadily from the leak. 

He then used the hand towel in the bathroom to dry up the surrounding water. Or at least as much as he could. 

Standing straight up, Washington realized his contraption wouldn’t hold up long. 

New mission, he decided. Fix the sink pipes. Or at least get someone who could fix it.

He had nothing better to do anyway. 

It wasn’t long before Washington had made his way down to the lobby of the apartment complex. Walking up to the front desk, Wash looked around the lobby. As usual, it was empty. Washington hit the bell provided on the desk and waited for a second. 

Almost instantly, a petite woman in a brown trench coat and a white turtle neck approached the front desk with a large smile on her face. 

“Hi, I’m the landlord of this building,” She greeted. “How can I be of assistance today?” 

Washington responded to her grin with an uneasy smile of his own. He wasn’t really social around people and he didn’t even formally live in the complex. “Yea, there’s an um- plumbing problem in my-” He stopped himself. “-In one of your rooms. If you could take a look at it?” 

The woman’s smile didn’t drop as she listened to his full explanation and waited for him to stop talking before she started. “I’m capable of that.” She responded cheerfully. “Please direct me to your room where I can fix your problem.” 

Washington nodded stepping back from the desk counter. “Yea, it's this way.” He directed her as he began walking towards the elevator.

The staff member nodded as she followed him back up the floors to Tucker’s room. Washington stopped at the door, unlocking and stepping inside. He only stopped, however, when he turned around and realized the landlord hadn’t followed him in and was instead lingering in the doorway. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, worry flushing his face at the hesitation. 

“Nothing at all,” The woman eased quickly. “I’m not permitted to enter residents' rooms unless invited in. May I come in?” 

Washington nodded. “Of yea, of course. Sorry. Come in.” He instructed, leading her into the bathroom where the problem was. 

He moved closer to the bathtub, due to the confined space and opened the sink’s cabinet doors as he pointed out the problem. “I’m not sure what caused it.” He told her wearily. “But, I couldn’t get the leaking to stop.” 

The landlord nodded, leaning down as she inspected the problem. “You need the water to stop leaking from the drain? Is that correct?” She asked, seeking affirmation. 

“Correct.” Washington confirmed. 

The woman nodded and reached her hands under the sink as she began inspecting the tubes. Lifting one slightly and moving the filled coffee mug under it, she cocked her head at it in order to get a better look at the underside. 

The leaking tube slipped from her grasp at the motion and suddenly water began spraying violently out of the pipe. 

The water splattered against the woman and Washington shot forward, quickly grabbing the slightly moist towel on the sink, only to stop in pure shock when electricity zapped from the woman on the parts of her where water splattered her body. 

The lady quickly grabbed the tube and stopped the water as her wet arm jerked slightly and electricity rattled through the limb. 

“You-” Washington marveled, stunned at what had just happened. “You’re a robot?” 

The woman looked up at him with a smile. “Most of the staff is.” She informed. 

Washington backed away from her and sat on the edge of the bathtub. “But you look so real.” He gapped, eyes locked onto the “so called-woman” in front of him. 

“Most artificial humans do.” She told him cheerfully as she began tweaking with the pipes. 

Washington sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. 

What the fuck was with this planet? 

Weird food and construction was expected, but technology like this? It could definitely come in handy on Chorus. 

Come to think of it, Chorus was most likely horribly set back in their evolution. No one had even been off the damned planet in years. They probably had no idea how advanced the technology was in other galaxies. To be honest, neither did Wash. 

“How has your day been?” The robotic woman asked as she worked. 

Washington raised a brow. “Huh?” 

“I’m just making small talk.” The landlord told him. 

“Are you programmed to do that?” Washington asked her. 

The electronic woman nodded, not seeming offended in the slightest. “That I am, are you displeased with it?” She then asked him. “I can stop.” 

“No, it’s fine.” Washington exasperated quietly. 

“Are there any emotions you would like to share with me?” The woman asked suddenly. “I am not programmed to share this information,” She reassured. 

Washington paused, taken back. “Why would you ask me that?” He demanded to know.

“My tasks as a Landlord include comforting and befriending my tenants.” She stated simply. “Are there any emotions you would like to share with me? I am not programmed to share this information.” 

Washington sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “No.” He muttered finally. 

He wasn’t too keen on sharing information about Tucker with his “landlord” like that, even if the information would stay secret. 

It wasn’t right, he’d just have to sort through his thoughts on his own. 

Unless…

Unless he never specified who he was talking about specifically. 

“I mean,” He started back up, catching the woman’s attention. “I came here specifically to bring back a… a friend.”

The woman smiled, turning back to the pipe. “That’s wonderful!” She praised. 

Washington rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, still feeling unsure about spilling his guts to someone else. Even if they didn’t have a pulse. “Yea, well. I haven’t actually asked him to come back yet. That’s what I’m struggling with.” 

“Why are you struggling with asking him to come back?” She asked him, raising a brow at the construction in front of her. 

“Well, I don’t know how he’s going to react,” Washington explained. “He might not want to.” 

“You like this person, right?” The landlord questioned. 

Wash nodded. “Yea, but-”

“And he likes you?”

Washington nodded. “Yea, uh I think he does.” He muttered. 

“Then there should be no problem.” The woman said kindly, standing up from the sink and carefully shutting the cabinet doors. 

“Well, it’s more complicated than that.” Wash tried to continue explaining as he stood up from the side of the bathtub. “I just want him to be happy and he might not get that with me.” 

The robotic woman smiled. “Then share those feelings with him.” She said with a bright smile. “Tell him how you feel.” 

Washington laughed as if it was that easy. 

“The piping should be completely fixed.” She then told him. “Is it to your satisfaction?” 

Wash nodded. “Uh, yea-” He mumbled, looking towards the sink as he was just a little bit too wrapped up in his conversation to be moderating the work. “Yea, that’s fine. Thanks.” 

“No problem,” The landlord grinned as she turned for the door, Wash following after to shut it on her way out. “Have a great day and if you need anything, just ring the bell.” She said happily, waving him off. 

“Thanks, you too.” Wash muttered, shutting the door as she left, only to lean tiredly on the back of it. 

Wash sighed softly. 

If only it were that easy.

* * *

Normally when someone’s sneaking into a place, they're nervous because they're doing something that they're not supposed to be doing. 

Which of course, makes sense. 

What doesn’t make sense is why  _ he _ felt so anxious about coming home to  _ his  _ own place. 

It may be later at night, but he bought the place. He owned it and his name was on the title. 

So why was he so afraid to unlock the door and walk right in? 

_ “It’s because you know he’s there.”  _

Lavernius swallowed the lump in his throat and put his hand on the door handle. 

_ “This won’t last, Lavernius.” Sigma hissed.  _

Part of him didn’t like Sigma calling him that. Not because it wasn’t his name, but because it wasn’t his to say. Lavernius changed his name and that was his decision. Not Sigma’s. But the AI responded to it too. Even if he didn’t become transparent to do it. Whenever his name was in the air, Sigma was interested.

Tucker turned the knob delicately and stepped in. Quietly shutting the door behind him, he used the back of his right foot to hold down his shoe as he stepped out of it and vise versa. Kicking them to the side, he walked further in and stuffed his hands into his hoodie. 

He kind of wanted to head to the bathroom first; knowing he did have a drink and while he wasn’t drunk or anything. Not even tipsy, the smell of alcohol was still pungent and it didn’t really matter how much you had. The stench would do a good job staining your tongue. And he didn’t really want Wash to think that was what he was doing all day. 

Deciding, fuck it, Lavernius stepped further down the hall.

He didn’t know why seeing Washington sitting on the couch in his living room came as a surprise to him. Maybe he assumed he’d be gone. That Lavernius would come home and there would be no trace of him and life would continue as it always had. 

But nope. Not today. 

Today he was seated on Lavernius’s living room couch with a book in his hands and only a small lamp next to him to keep the words visible with its light. 

Tucker stepped further in, sliding his wallet onto the kitchen counter as he passed it by. He made sure to toss the wallet heavily so it’d make a noise and alert Wash so that he wouldn’t have to say anything. 

Washington immediately looked his way. “Hey.” He greeted him, a smile on his face as he lowered the book. 

“Hi.” Lavernius replied quietly as he entered the living room and sat down on the couch, bringing his legs up to rest on the cushion. 

He felt his anxiety drop a little. 

He came home, Wash was still there, and they didn’t have to talk about anything. 

Not about Chorus or his work or where they stood or anything and that gave him relief. 

It didn’t stop him from wondering when the ball was going to drop. Because, sure. Things were fine right now, but what about a day from now? Five hours? Or ten minutes? 

There were so many things not yet addressed and any of them could ruin the peace that Tucker had found. 

So he was just waiting. Waiting for everything to come crumbling down as it would.

At least then Sigma could tell him ‘I told you so’. 

At least then he’d know what the future would hold. 

“Where were you today?” Wash asked. Not harshly or demanding, but curious. And within seconds, any bit of relief Tucker had felt dissipated. 

He reached back to pull his hoodie up over his head and shrugged. “Out.” He explained, looking towards the powered off TV in front of him. 

“You know, you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.” Wash told him, his tone light.

When Wash didn’t respond in anger or frustration, Tucker looked eagerly towards him. “What do you mean?” 

“Every morning. You don’t have to leave right away if you don’t want to.” Wash pointed out. He wanted to make sure Tucker knew it was ok to be in the house with him without assuming he was afraid to do so. “Or if you have to, can I get a time?” He then asked, further explaining his words as if they’d be misinterpreted. 

“A time?” Tucker raised a brow. “Why?” 

“So I can wake up before then,” Wash explained. “You know, then I can see you before you leave.” 

“Oh,” Tucker said quietly. He smiled, knowing that meant Wash had missed him. “Yea.”

He didn’t really know what to say after that, so instead, he scooted closer to Wash who accepted him by wrapping an arm around him with his free hand. 

Tucker smiled, content as he closed his eyes and leaned his head on Wash’s shoulder. He let his hands rest by Wash’s chest, which were surprisingly warm. Washington acknowledged the movement by turning to lean down and kiss Tucker’s forehead. 

“Did you know your apartment complex is run by robots?” 

Tucker nodded against his shoulder. “You didn’t?” 

Wash rolled his eyes playfully before returning to his book seconds later; leaving Tucker to calmly take a deep breath and open his eyes; staring down at the parchment in Wash’s hands. 

At first, he paid little mind to it. But then, a few words caught his eye, and he began reading along with the individual words on each page.

It was calm like that for a while; Wash reading and flipping pages at a steady pace as Tucker unknowingly read along. 

Tucker frowned and prodded Wash a few minutes later when he flipped the page a little too quickly; leaving Tucker unable to read the final words on the page. “Hey, I wasn’t done yet.” Tucker pouted.

Wash looked down at him with a loving yet confused smile and Tucker grinned. 

“You’re not the only one who knows how to read, David Washington.” He quipped childishly, looking towards the book. “Go back a page.” He requested. 

Wash nodded, laughing a little as he turned the page back. 

He watched as Tucker’s eyes darted on the page. 

Washington beamed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sobbing sobbing sobbing sobbing. 
> 
> So um anyways, here you are <3

When Washington woke up the next morning, he was met with the pleasant surprise of seeing Tucker still laying next to him. 

He was in a similar position to how he slept, which must have been slightly uncomfortable for him. It was uncomfortable for Wash anyway. His arm went numb within 20 minutes, but it didn’t really matter much to him because there he was; sitting on the couch with the person he cared for the most, laying on top of him and sleeping peacefully. 

His face was pressed hot into Wash’s shoulder and his lips parted slightly; a blissful expression on his face. 

The only noises around them was the steady, slow breathing of Tucker resting and the slight commotion outside the building caused by the vehicles darting around the streets and honking at each other. 

It couldn’t have been no later than 5 in the morning, so Wash could only assume that the car noises would only get louder as time went on. 

Bright light peeped through the lazily shut curtains on the backside of the living room wall and sun shone down onto Tucker’s face; lighting up his tattoos as it did and revealing small specks of dust floating through the air. 

It might have been beautiful to Wash, but he knew it was too bright for Tucker’s liking. Or at least, too bright for him to be able to continue to sleep like Wash knew he should. 

Washington brought his slightly numb arm up to reach Tucker’s face and push away a stray dread. He watched him peacefully for another minute; lightly tracing the aqua tattoos that lingered his skin until Tucker began growing increasingly restless. 

He looked a little weary and Washington quickly retracted his hand, not wanting to wake him up any further. 

When the stirring settled down, Wash carefully brought his arm down behind Tucker and got up off the couch; leaning in front of it before moving to pick him up. He easily stood up with him in his arms and shifted Tucker’s weight onto his own as he guided his head to rest on his shoulder when Tucker stirred again. 

It was a quick trip back to the bedroom as Wash remained careful not to run into anything. He made his way to the bed and lowered Tucker onto it, watching as he went limp onto the bed before curling into a new position. 

Wash smiled, tugging at the blanket near the bottom of the bed as he draped it over the sleeping mercenary. 

Now for coffee and breakfast. 

* * *

Eyes opened wide, glancing furiously around his location. 

It was cold, as it usually was. 

Lavernius normally wouldn’t have been so surprised except for the fact that he wasn’t in a small dark room like he normally appeared in when Sigma gave him induced nightmares. 

Instead, he was in a forest. 

Gorgeous purple, red, and teal flowers bloomed by copious amounts of lightly tinted blue-grass and the long, dark wooded trees held pink leaves that dropped delicately to the ground as the wind blew by. 

It was almost peaceful as birds sang in the distance and light shoone through the open cracks of the bed of tree leaves above him. 

He was never one to care much about natural sites, but this was beautiful beyond that. 

But there was a point to it. 

Tucker knew that. 

There was no dreaming with the AIs unless Sigma was directing it. 

Looking around, Lavernius observed some new, bright, twirling plant in every direction; each more gorgeous and brighter than the last, and as he looked down, he noted that he could see himself perfectly and everything seemed too clear to be a typical dream. 

Pink leaves twirled from the wind at the bottom of his feet.

He leaned down to touch them; only stopping when something rustled from a nearby bush. 

Lavernius quickly diverted his attention over to it, a confused look on his face when a small animal sauntered out towards him. 

It looked like a kitten with blond fur and chocolate brown eyes and every step it made towards him was cautious and thoroughly thought over. 

Something sweet washed over in Tucker at that moment and he crouched down and extended a hand towards the small animal. “It’s ok, baby.” He soothered. “Nothings gonna hurt you.” 

The closer he looked, the more he realized the kitten had a mythical glow to it and how its coat had embedded circular swirls into it. The color remained just a little bit lighter than its skin color, Tucker noted as it stepped towards him. 

“Yea, that’s it.” Tucker praised it as it came within feet of him. “Nothing’s going to hurt you.” He promised, waving a hand towards him. 

The cat let out a purring noise and Tucker smiled as it sat down in front of him. 

He then further extended his hand and patted the animal’s coat down its back. The amount of life he felt the kitten giving off in its glowy aura was mind-blowing to him.

The feeling didn’t last. 

The second he touched the animal and rubbed down its back, the cat let out a violent howling noise and crumbled to dust under his fingertips. 

“Holy shit!” Lavernius hissed, shock rocketing through him. He stepped back hurriedly; his breath heavy when he looked down and noticed that the grass and flowers below his feet began rotting into dead grey under him. 

Tucker gasped, moving away from it as he created a trail of dead plant life in his wake. 

He got it now. 

The point. 

Lavernius stopped immediately, not wanting to kill or harm another beautiful thing. 

He sighed, fisting his hands together at his side. “I get it!” He shouted, his voice echoing around the forest as it ricketed through the trees and dimmed the bright sky above him. “I get it, Sigma!” He repeated once more. 

“Stop, please!”

His own echoed words turned into laughter and within seconds, he shot up in his apartment bed; sweat coating his back and his breathing heavy and exasperated. 

Lavernius looked forward at the dresser in front of his bedroom’s king-sized bed and unclenched the grip he had on the sheets under him. He further looked down at his hands and when the bedsheets hadn’t rotted into nothing, he laid back onto the bed and sighed. 

_ “Leave, Lavernius.”  _ Something in his mind warned him. 

Tucker rolled over in the bed and listened as the voice threatened him. 

He sat up slightly at the smell of something cooking in the kitchen and deciding he needed an immediate distraction, got up from his bed, quickly used the bathroom, and then continued to walk out into the main room of his apartment; his socks hitting the hardwood floor with a light thump. 

Washington was up and completely dressed as he usually was at 7 in the morning. He stood in front of the kitchen stove, moving something around on a pan as it sizzled. Bacon, Tucker presumed as he rubbed at his eyes and slid onto the stool in front of the kitchen counter. 

Wash looked over his shoulder at him as he moved to shut off the stove flame. “Morning” He greeted, bringing up the pan and sliding its contents out onto a nearby plate.

“Hey.” Tucker replied lazily as he leaned his head on the marble kitchen counter.

He was still fucking exhausted. He’d go back to sleep, but he knew how that would turn out. 

Washington was next to him a minute later, sliding a plate of bacon and eggs as well as a fork in front of him before moving around the counter to pick up a plate of his own.

Tucker perked up at the sight. Wash was a way better cook than he’d ever give him credit for. Although, the very act of Wash doing so much for him gave him an annoying feeling. The food did look good. It wasn’t that the act itself that irritated him, it was just that it implied that he couldn’t do things for himself. 

Lavernius knew that probably wasn't how Wash meant it, but it was how Lavernius had kept viewing it. 

“I think you're exaggerating how much I can actually eat.” Tucker pointed out, poking his food with the provided fork. 

“Just wanted to make sure you’re eating enough,” Wash told him, nothing but sincerness to his words. “When I first got here your cupboards consisted of crackers and hot pockets.” He then teased lightly.

Tucker laughed quietly to himself. “You’re going mama bear on me, Wash.” He joked.

“Am not,” Wash protested, reaching for his coffee mug. “Now eat your food. Do you need any water, a napkin maybe?” He added, humor obvious at his contradicting words. 

Tucker scoffed, picking up some bacon with his fork and putting it in his mouth. 

For a moment, he almost forgot about Sigma. 

But when he realized that, so did the AI and Lavernius knew the fiery fragment would be committing itself to pulling him away before Wash could do it first. Which was easy for the AI since it could sit there and jabber all day long and drive Lavernius mad. And at night, he knew nightmares would await. 

He wouldn’t tell Wash that though. 

The fragments had caused Lavernius to grow stubborn and there was no way he’d open up about an AI-caused problem like that. It’d only prove the point Wash hadn’t brought up yet, but Tucker knew was coming. 

It was obvious that he came to the planet to bring Tucker back to Chorus. 

And he knew it wouldn’t be able to come to that. Lavernius would have to tell him no and the bit of fun they’ve been having the past few days would switch to regret and anger and emotions that Tucker didn’t want to deal with. 

He knew that once he told Wash no, he’d never see him again. 

Wash would leave or Lavernius would make him. 

And as much as he didn’t want to do that, he knew he wouldn’t have a choice. 

Once Wash asked him to accompany him back to Chorus, what they had would have to end.

It was the fact that Lavernius had no idea when it was all going to happen that bugged him and created a tension that pooled in his gut and scratched irritably at his skin and tried to claw its way out of his mouth in screamed cries and panic.

_ “Don’t be an idiot then,”  _ Something told him.  _ “You do realize that if you leave now, it’ll hurt less.”  _

Lavernius knew that, but this; Wash in _his_ kitchen, cooking him breakfast; was just too good to pass up. He wanted to soak in their final time together and revel in the person before him.;

So Tucker held his breath and smiled as Washington suggested something for them to watch since they both had a clear schedule. 

He’d lie next to him on the couch and sit with him for lunch and laugh when Wash almost burned their food and he’d try not to think about the impending doom that approached him. 

He’d do his best not to contemplate on the intrusive thoughts or the nightmares he’d surely have to endure when he closed his eyes or the person with him that he knew he’d have to let go, again. 

He’d ignore it all until he couldn’t anymore. 

* * *

It was later in the day when Washington had fallen asleep in Tucker's bed with Tucker, only to wake up alone with the door to the bedroom wide open. They had dinner near 6 and when Tucker had complained he was full, they watched Reservoir Dogs again in the living room and after that, fell asleep. It had been a good day. 

Tucker was probably just in the bathroom or something. 

But then Wash felt the air around the room and noted how cold it was. He presumed it was an open window and got up from the bed, sliding on his jacket that was draped over the large cushioned chair next to Tucker’s desk. 

The desk he had been stashing his own belongings because Tucker told him he could. 

Leaving the room, Washington zipped up his jacket and left towards the living room where he saw the room’s miniature balcony doors opened. 

The apartment complex looked symmetrical on the outside of the building and the small balconies were located just above the window of the floor above them. Wash had noted seeing the balcony doors the previous day, but they were never open before and he never went out onto the outside platform. 

Washington curiously stepped towards them, noticing how the air got colder as he approached. He stopped in front of the doorway, spotting Tucker on the small balcony and leaning casually on the white steel fence. 

Wash had hoped he hadn’t been standing there for too long. It was way too cold for that. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” Washington questioned from the doorway.

Tucker looked back at him as he leaned against the rail of the balcony and shrugged; Wash taking that as his cue to walk in further and stand next to him.

“Don’t sleep much.” Tucker mumbled, turning back to look out at the night sky.

Washington nodded, mimicking his movements with his own as he looked out at the bajillions of flashing lights beneath them.

Faint music and car horns could be heard coming from down the street below them, however, compared to that; the balcony seemed quiet. 

But Wash found that Tucker wasn’t looking out at all the people down below like he thought he would. Instead, Wash noticed, he was looking up at the sky; the planets, moons, and stars visible. 

_ Just tell him how you feel. _

Washington followed his gaze, inspecting all the shimmering dots as his eyes darted around for the one he knew the best. “You know, that dot in the distance there is Chorus.” He pointed out. 

Tucker glanced over at him, smiling sadly before looking over diagonal from what Wash was showing him to point at a bright speck in the sky. “And that, is where my son is.” He informed Wash.

“Junior?”

Tucker smiled proudly. “Yea.”

Wash nodded. “Caboose uh-“ He paused, not wanting to bring up too much of Chorus, but knowing he had to start talking about it eventually. “Caboose said you told him something about going to see him.”

Tucker frowned, looking down at the streets and hoards of people below them. “Yea, well I-“ He sighed. “I didn’t.” He told Wash shamefully, picking at a piece of metal on the fence. “I figured why fuck up a perfectly good relationship?” 

“I’m sure you wouldn’t have ruined it.” Washington tried to console him. “Junior loves you.” 

Lavernius appreciated the words, but he ruined so many other relationships with people that “Loved him” and Junior wouldn’t have been any different. 

He didn’t want to see his son, Didn’t want to talk to him or tell him what had happened, and risk exposing himself and tainting the last solid relationship he had left. 

He knew that if he left to see Junior, he’d disrupt everything that was going smoothly for the teen. He didn’t need to be wrapped up in his father’s problems. Tucker knew that. 

But Wash wouldn’t understand that. So instead, he just told him “Thanks.”

Washington smiled as Tucker expected he would. “No problem, do you wanna come back inside?” He asked. 

Lavernius shook his head as he bit the inside of his lip. “Uh, no. I’m good.” He told Wash, avoiding eye contact. 

“Oh, um, are you sure?” Washington questioned him. Tucker didn’t see his reaction, but he did hear the confusion in his voice. 

Tucker nodded. "Yea, I’m sure.” He assured, looking towards Wash, only to look away when he was still giving him this confused look. “I just don’t really want to go to sleep,” Lavernius added, feeling the need to defend his decision. 

He had hoped it would end at that; no questions asked. But then Washington cleared his throat and looked over at him. “If you don’t mind me asking, why?” He asked sympathetically. 

Lavernius didn’t want to tell him about the nightmares Sigma was giving him for a large number of reasons. Part of it was the look he was giving him right now. That look that Tucker was some sad broken thing when he wasn’t. Kind of. 

Point was, Tucker, didn’t need pity. That wasn’t helpful.

“I actually do mind.” Lavernius retorted, speaking more harshly than he intended to. Which was obviously the wrong decision because it only prompted Wash to discover the problem. And if he did, he’d want to fix it. Which Tucker didn’t want or need him doing. It was his problem, not Wash’s.

“Well, if you need help, I can-”

“I don’t need help.” Lavernius snapped, looking towards him. 

Wash paused, looking taken back, but not hurt and Tucker saw how his nail dug into the side of his palm. 

And suddenly all Tucker saw when he looked at him was Caboose’s frightened face back in the Chorus medical room when he had thought Tucker was going to hit him. 

Tucker sighed, guilt washing over him. “I’m sorry.” He said quickly. “I just- It’s not a big deal.” He tried to ease. “Just nightmares, you know. Happens sometimes.” 

Something on Wash’s face softened. “You could have told me that.” He said; his voice understanding. “You can tell me anything.” 

Lavernius nodded. He could, but he didn’t want to. “Thanks.” He said instead, looking back towards the night sky. 

Washington followed his gaze as they stood in silence for another few minutes. 

But then he heard Wash take a deep breath and suddenly Lavernius went stone-cold, feeling anxiety rushing over him and tension build up inside him. 

He could feel Omega resisting its urge to cackle.

“Hey, Tucker?” Washington asked him. 

Tucker swallowed the lump in his throat and held his breath. “Yea?” He replied quietly. 

Don’t, please.

_ Sigma laughed. _

“I want you to come back to Chorus with me.”

Goddammit, Wash. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have cried writing this
> 
> Anyways, enjoy! :D

Tucker stared off past Washington and at the night sky and buildings surrounding them. He could hear Omega cackling in the back of his mind as Sigma smiled; knowing his time with Washington was up. 

No, no, no, no, no.

Washington’s words devastated him, them, everyone in his brain. He knew it was coming, but he had hoped that maybe it wouldn’t. That maybe they could just go on like this forever and not have to address anything. 

But, no. He couldn’t have that. He didn’t deserve it anyway something told him. He chose this and it was all bound to come up sooner or later. 

Why, why, why?

He knew this was coming, but it surprised him more than he thought it would. 

He had to tell Wash no. He couldn’t imagine what would happen if he said yes. He didn’t want to imagine it. He’d go back to Chorus and bring everyone’s hopes up, only to let them down again. 

Or even worse, they wouldn’t let him come back and would refuse to forgive him for the way he treated them.

Lavernius wouldn’t blame them. He deserved it. 

Tucker lived with the Reds and Blues for years. He fought beside them and laughed with them and he betrayed them. They tried voicing their genuine concerns to him and he rejected them. They tried to help him and he left them. 

Memories flushed his mind and he knew he wouldn’t be able to return to them. 

He wouldn’t be able to look Caboose, Kimball, or Carolina in the eyes without feeling worthless. 

And he definitely didn’t want to think about what the AIs would do if he dared to return to Chorus. 

Tucker went silent and at the same moment something in him clicked and everything around him went blurry except for the copious amount of intrusive thoughts in his mind. It was as if he was drowning; as if something had sucked the immediate life out of him and now all that was left was his own mind and the voices inside it. 

_ “We’re doomed!” Eta cried.  _

Lavernius felt shocked as the scared fragment spoke. He hadn’t heard Eta say anything since...well, it had been a long time. 

_ “Perfect!” Omega howled, a grin on his face as he nudged Eta obnoxiously.  _

_ “Not completely doomed.” Delta protested, pulling Omega off of Eta who snarled in response. “There are multiple different outcomes for a situation like this.” _

Tucker barely recognized Delta’s voice. 

He hadn’t heard it at that volume in months. 

_ “Which one is the best?” Iota asked, perking up behind Eta.  _

_ Delta paused, looking away. “I’m not sure.”  _

_ “Whichever one I decide.” Sigma snarled, causing the other fragments to back down.  _

Tucker listened as the AIs spoke and memories built up in his mind; not rendering reality at all. He couldn’t find himself to be able to open his mouth, but he wasn’t being openly addressed either so it didn’t matter at the moment. 

He felt like an outsider looking in on his own life. Things were happening around him, but he felt too disconnected from it. It was like watching a movie. He could see Wash there next to him, but couldn’t feel his hand on his shoulder or sense him there next to him.

He could hear the AIs yelling at each other, (which was unnerving at most as he hadn’t heard them all so individually since Sigma took over), but he didn’t feel in the same space as them.

He could remember flashes of Chorus; some stuff he had forgotten about or repressed and also a lot of bad stuff. Some good stuff was shuffled in there, but it only reminded him of what he had lost. 

“Tucker?”

Something sickening in his chest ached and for a second he thought he might vomit. 

“Tucker, are you ok?” 

In a second, pressure was put on his shoulder and something shook him frighteningly. He felt something cold grasp his hand and suddenly, the outside world became visible and Tucker was snapped back into reality; the AI’s rediscovered voices in his head going silent almost immediately. 

“Tucker?!”

Lavernius moved out of his frozen state and turned to look at the person in front of him; that same queasy, uncomfortable feeling resonating in his chest. “What?” He asked, his eyes connecting with a very concerned-looking Washington as he softened the grip he had on his shoulder. 

“Are you ok? You weren’t responding for a…” Washington paused, readjusting his footing on the balcony. “For a really long time.” He told him, his brow furrowed with worry as he tightened his grip on Tucker’s hand. 

“How long?” Lavernius asked, turning to stare down at his side where Wash was holding his hand as he contemplated pulling his hand out of his grip.

Washington swallowed the lump in his throat. “Like 10 minutes,” He said quietly as if a single loud spoken word would send Tucker back into dissociation. “Are you ok?” He asked again, rubbing his thumb over Tucker’s. 

The act was comforting and helped Tucker to realize just how long he had been out there on that balcony in 40-degree weather. He was freezing; Wash’s hands were considerably warm against his own and he was sure zoning out in the freezing cold didn’t help. 

It was only then that he felt something warm and wet drip onto his cheek and he quickly looked further down at the ground, pulling his hand out of Wash’s grasp as he wiped away the stray tear. “Why would you ask me that?” Lavernius asked quietly, sniffling as he tried not to let his voice crack.

Washington paused, taken back at the amount of hurt in Tucker’s words. “I- I’m sorry, but I really think you should come back to Chorus.” 

Lavernius frowned, all the frustration and anger that he had been holding back rushing to his head. He sniffled, bringing his head up to look at Wash as his eyes shone bright teal through his anger and an outline of tears pooled at the bottom of his lids. “Why!?” 

Surprisingly, his words didn’t sound as angry as he was acting.

In fact, he sounded a little desperate.

Washington’s mouth dropped slightly and his eyes opened wide. But he didn’t look scared and later when Tucker wasn’t mad, he’d probably appreciate that. Instead, his face softened and he took a deep breath. “Please, just hear me out.” Wash begged, letting his hands fall to his sides as he stepped closer.

He had stepped closer. 

He really wasn’t scared of Lavernius at all. 

Tucker waited, the same anger in his eyes. 

Washington smiled lightly before dropping it. He let his eyes wander as he thought for a moment. “I  _ really _ missed you w-” he started to say before being quickly interrupted. 

“Oh, don’t fucking start.” Tucker laughed, degrading his comment. “Bull-fucking-shit.” 

“AND,” Washington added, raising his voice over Tucker’s, his own agitation growing. “I’m only starting out with that because it's the most important reason. I missed you when you left. Everyone else did too, but I was the only one who didn't get over it.” He added, his anger dissipating as his expression saddened. “I felt guilty and confused and frustrated and I knew you could fix it. I get that’s selfish, but again, it’s only one of the reasons.” 

Lavernius crossed his arms over his chest, looking unimpressed as he held up one finger. 

Wash wasn’t sure why he did that until he realized Tucker was counting the reasons he had presented him with so far. 

Washington rolled his eyes. “Jesus Christ.” He mumbled. 

“That sounds like stalling.” Lavernius quipped back harshly, lowering his finger, and leaving Wash to wonder if he was talking to the AIs or Tucker himself. 

He genuinely couldn’t tell. 

Washington frowned, locking eyes with Tucker as he stepped closer. “Fine,” He agreed. “You want another reason?” He flared, digging his nail harshly into his palm. “How about Caboose misses you. You’re all alone. You live in an apartment that until I arrived, had no food and a broken sink. Kimball could’ve used your help on countless missions. You’re a mercenary now and I can’t tell whether or not that's a good thing.” He carried on, slight confusion in his words at his last scentence. 

His confusion quickly turned to something else however as he spoke again, not giving Tucker time to respond. “Oh, how about you were gone for an entire day and came home smelling like liquor.” He prodded bregrundly; feeling somewhat guilty for the stunned look on Tucker’s face. 

He didn’t mean to be harsh, but he had been the exact opposite the whole trip, maintaining perfect patience, and maybe it was time for a different approach. 

The approach that he had taken back on Crash Site Bravo. 

“The people on this planet are dangerous,” Washington continued, reasons popping up in his mind easily now. “You have no one to help you or back you up. Grif has no one to talk to about his Simmons problems anymore and keeps coming to me. You left the Lieutenants without a commander; Palamo cried for weeks and then started bugging me about making him, Captain. You’ve been left alone with the AIs for a year. They’re obviously giving you nightmares, and there’s no way in hell I trust your mental health in Sigma’s hands.” 

“And most importantly,” Washington exasperated. “you can’t-,” Wash paused, his face softening endearingly. “You can’t be happy here…”

Tucker’s eyes, which were once teal glowing bulbs, had now died down to his normal colored aqua and something in Wash felt relieved. “When did that ever matter?” He asked faintly. 

“Tucker, I-” Washington’s heart dropped at Tucker's words. He paused, unsure of how to respond. How could he possibly fit all his thoughts about his words in just one sentence? “It always mattered.” He settled on. 

Tucker frowned. “It didn’t matter when I wanted to go home and not get wrapped up in Chorus’s stupid war, it didn’t matter when you guys needed to use the AIs, and it doesn’t matter now!” He yelled, more hurt than angry. “You came here for you.”

“Tucker, please don’t tell me you actually believe that,” He begged softly. “You know that would never, ever, be my sole reasoning for anything.”

Tucker averted eye contact and Wash caught a hopeful gleam in his eyes because maybe Tucker knew he was right. “Please?” He asked as if that would give him a guaranteed yes. 

Tucker bit his lip, the tears that had been at the bottom of his eyes now dripping down his face slowly. “Wash, I can’t.” He admitted quietly. 

Washington softly released the pressure his nail had been putting on his, now cold, palm as his expression saddened. He wasn’t disappointed, per se, but he couldn’t exactly think of the right word to express the depressing reality Tucker was telling him. “Why?” He managed discontentedly. 

“Because this can’t last,” Tucker told him defeatedly before sighing and looking away. “Every time something good happens, I think it's going to last forever,” He admitted before clenching his fists at his side. “and I'm wrong every single fucking time.”

“It’ll be different this time.” Wash tried to assure him, stepping forward and extending his hand with an unspoken determination. 

Lavernius pulled away, suddenly realizing just how trapped he was on the small balcony. “No! Stop it!” He snapped suddenly. “Don’t you get it? I can’t fucking control this!” He retorted angrily, gesturing at himself with his hands. He then paused, dropping his hands at his side as he sighed. “It won’t be different.” He concluded. 

Washington let his hand drop. “You don’t know that,” He said quietly. 

Lavernius paused, turning away as he faced the night sky and regained his leaned position on the fence. He took a deep breath as that panicky feeling in his chest rose until it was all he could focus on. 

  
Something tugged at the back of his mind and Sigma smiled.

Lavernius sighed, not wanting to be looking at Washington for this next part. 

“I think you should leave.”

5 words that had Wash heartbroken and lost for words. 

“Tucker…”

“Lavernius,” Tucker corrected him quickly, his voice faint. “It’s Lavernius.” 

It was Tucker’s house and he knew that if he told Wash to leave, he would. And that fact made Tucker miserable. He wanted Wash there. He wanted to wake up next to him and fall asleep to him. He wanted to lie on him and read and eat the food he made for him and he wanted all his problems to go away.

But that wasn’t realistic. 

He couldn’t make Sigma go away. He couldn’t stop himself if they got into trouble and Lavernius had an opening to betray Wash. He couldn’t protect him from the countless fights yet to come, or the nightmares he’d awake from, or the words Sigma would push into his mind until he vowed to force Wash out. 

And Washington obviously didn’t understand that. 

Sigma was right, the longer he waited, the harder this would be.

“You can try again, Tucker.” Wash suddenly told him solemnly. “Whatever loss cause you think you are or how many relationships you think you’ve ruined. You can try again, you did a pretty good job with me.” He told him. “I can’t understand what you’re going through and I can’t stop the fragments and whatever they’re doing to you, but I can be with you through it. But you have to try and that has to be your decision. I can’t force you to make it.” 

Lavernius remained silent, waiting for the magic words that would fix everything. As if they even existed, let alone Wash being the one to have them. 

He could hear Wash sigh tiredly behind him. 

And he didn’t blame him. It was late. It was cold. And they had been out there for an hour. 

“I’m sorry you’re unhappy.” Wash told him disappointedly. 

Lavernius knew Wash was mostly sorry  _ he  _ couldn’t make Tucker happy. 

“Get  _ the fuck _ out.” Lavernius gritted through his teeth. 

He then remained quiet, holding back his emotions as Sigma screamed at him and tears threatened to once again rush down his cheeks in hot trails. His chest tightened as he refused to turn to Wash and waited. 

He felt a rush of anticipation, the AIs all at the attention of Wash’s next move; unintelligible sounds ringing through his head as he wanted desperately to take back everything he had said, as if that would fix anything. 

He held his breath, biting his tongue until he heard footsteps retreat into the apartment.

He knew what had happened. 

Wash left. 

And right as he did, the screaming in his head abruptly stopped.

The AI’s remained sated, sinking back into the one jumbled personality they had blended into previously and Lavernius was left alone in his head with a bunch of mixed, confusing, and unbreakable thoughts. 

All of which were his own.

It was then his expression flattened and everything he had tried not to feel earlier and had attempted to hold back, began rushing out and he let out a panicked breath as his heart surged and he felt like he was being held underwater. 

Wash left. 

He told him too, but he didn’t actually want him to. 

Tears flowed freely now as Lavernius gripped the steel fence to ground himself; trying to silence his sniffles as he knew Wash was still nearby, probably gathering his stuff because Tucker had told him to leave. 

Tucker told him to leave and now he was going to. 

Lavernius felt his throat constrict as he realized that was probably the last conversation he would ever have with Wash. 

But that must’ve been what he wanted because he told Wash to leave. 

He told him to. 

Lavernius hadn’t known how long it had been until he turned towards the door, unsure of what to do, but stuck knowing he had to do something. He stepped towards it, the world blurring around him as he moved into the apartment. It was quiet except for his own footsteps and something about that made him want to curl up and die. 

He opened the door to his bedroom, peering in and seeing no one in there. 

Some of Wash’s stuff was gone though. 

He thought that was what really snapped him into the reality of what was happening. He looked away from the loss of personality now in the room as he quickly stepped into the bathroom; slamming the door behind him. 

Lavernius took a deep breath. He had intended to wash his face or take a shower and pull himself together, but now that he was sectioned off, separated from everything, he was now free to let out everything he had been holding back in a fit of unrelenting tears and hurried breaths. 

He leaned back against his door and slid to the bottom of the tiled floor, bringing his knees up to his chest and pulling his hoodie up over his head. He scooted back against the corner then, attempting to take up as little space as possible as he shoved his face into his sleeves and attempted to stifle his sobs. 

He could feel his heart pound rapidly against his ribcage then as he attempted to control himself. 

It was pathetic. He was supposed to have this under control. He was supposed to be able to lose people and not be a sniveling mess by the end of it. 

But Wash wasn’t just the average person. He was-

He was someone Tucker loved. 

And Tucker told him to leave because he was afraid. 

And the last conversation he would have with him was filled with hate. 

And that was how Wash would forever remember him. 

And now- And now he was alone again. 

A knock at the door had him jumping with a sniffled gasp and backing away from the door. 

“Tucker?” 

Lavernius took the end of his sleeve and wiped under his eyes as he cleared his throat. It didn’t matter. His voice still came out hoarse anyway. “Wash, you need to-” 

“I know,” Washington quickly finished. “I will leave, but. I need to know that you’re ok.” 

Lavernius considered responding. 

He supposed that was what aggravated the AIs and caused them to start shouting things at him, back and forth and echoing around his mind until it was all he could hear. 

Tucker brought his hands up to his ears and let out a pained cry as he tried to snuff out the noise. 

“Tucker?” Wash called more frantically, jiggling the door handle, surprised to find it open. 

Lavernius didn’t hear him then but did feel him as he rushed over to him and wrapped an arm securely around him as he pulled him closer. 

Tucker turned to Wash then, desperately clinging onto him as he hid his face in Wash’s shirt and sobbed. He hated crying. He hated breaking down. It only showed how vulnerable he was when he was supposed to be a stone-hard structure, standing still no matter what hit it. 

The noise in his head didn’t die down, and if anything, it got worse. Tears blurred his vision and his ears rang from the noise that wouldn’t seem to stop. Hushed breaths escaped from his mouth as he felt Washington rub his back in slow, soothing circles.

Tucker readjusted his positioning on him, griping clumpfulls of his shirt and crying into it until the voices ceased. Every time it did die down, and he thought he was about to stop; he’d think about how Wash came back to him or would feel Wash’s hand rub down his back and the tears would start up again. 

“It’s ok,” He heard Wash ease faintly. “It’s gonna be ok.” 

For some reason, that only made his tears flow more freely. 

Because fucking hell, he told Wash to leave. 

He yelled at him and insulted him and told him to get out of his house and Wash _ still _ came back.

He wasn’t supposed to come back. He was supposed to hate him and leave him be and go back to Chorus and live a life with Caboose and Carolina and the rest of the Reds and Blues and never ever have to worry about Tucker ever again. 

But he didn’t. 

And the realization hit him like a brick. 

Wash really cared. 

Tucker pressed his face further into Wash’s shirt as he felt wet tear stains press against his face. “Please help me,” He choked out between sobs. 

He wanted it to stop. He wanted to be back two years ago with his family in his home with laughter and friendly smiles from Donut, tight hugs from Caboose, and knowing looks from Wash between it all. 

He wanted this to be over. 

Washington held him tighter, clearing his throat. “I will,” He told him. “Jesus, Tucker, I will.”

Tucker took a sharp intake of breath as he opened his eyes into his shirt. “Promise?”

Almost immediately, Wash rubbed down his back and agreed. “I promise, but you  _ have _ to let me help you this time.” 

He knew Tucker would have to work with him. He couldn’t try to help him again if he was doing it all by himself. He couldn’t do it if he had belief in Tucker when Tucker didn’t even have belief in himself. He couldn’t do it. It would just end exactly as it had a year ago. 

Tucker nodded furiously against his chest.

“Ok.” 

It was a quiet, mumbled out and tired response. But he was too worn out to speak and say much more.


	11. Stupid Piece of Shit

The next morning, Tucker woke up covered in sweat; his breathing hitched and eyes adjusting to a darkened bedroom. He noted that he was laying on a warm mattress, wrapped up comfortably in several blankets. 

He was sure he had fallen asleep in Wash’s arms on top of the bathroom’s cold, hardwood floor tiles. Which could only mean that Wash had carried him back to his bed. 

Fuck, he didn’t deserve that. 

_ Piece of shit. _

_ Stupid piece of shit.  _

_ Stupid fucking piece of shit. _

That was what he was. 

He hurt Wash and Wash choose to help him anyway. Why the fuck would he do that? Tucker knew, he fucking  _ knew  _ his help would amount to nothing too. Not for lack of trying, but because he was a lost cause. 

Stupid fucking piece of shit, what was his problem?

Why’d he drag Wash back into this? He couldn’t let himself deal with it for five fucking minutes. He had to go out and ask for help. 

He didn’t deserve that. 

Tucker rolled over on the mattress so that he was facing away from the bathroom door and was instead facing the window. There was a dip in the bed where Tucker assumed Wash had slept. But honestly? It could have been from the night before. 

Something in his mind questioned whether or not Wash was still in his apartment. He recounted his memories from the night before and Wash hadn’t left. But there were so many bits and pieces of memories that blacked out behind all the panic that Tucker couldn’t be completely sure. 

He let his hands rest by his face and took a deep breath in, trying to remind himself of anything else. Shaky hands pulled the blankets further up his shoulder as he refused to let his eyes close. 

The nightmares had begun again. The torment that he had been relieved of for only an hour the previous day had returned. 

Because of course, it did. 

It was the same damn shit all over again and it left him mentally drained. 

_Don't complain._

_You asked for this._

Tucker winced as wind blew the black-out curtains back and light seeped in, blinding him. He groaned, pushing himself to roll over onto the other side of the bed where it was darker. 

He wanted to rest, but he didn’t want to risk sleeping and enduring whatever sick thing Sigma would conjure up for him. 

He knew it would just get worse. 

Sigma was pissed, preaching like a madman in his ear until Tucker knew he wouldn’t be able to take it anymore. It was all he’d done since asking Wash for help. And Tucker knew he had to ignore it. 

He just had to. 

The way he saw it, what he was doing before just wasn’t working. 

Sigma could try to convince him all he wanted, but Tucker knew- the Merc work, the isolation, it was breaking him down little by little and he was miserable. It had to be time to try a different approach before the other one ripped him to shreds. 

He’d let Sigma lead him towards a different path, but Sigma’s first idea back on Chorus right after Church’s death didn’t work either. That was obvious, of course. Tucker already knew how that story ended. He left Chorus and tried something new. 

And that didn’t work either. 

Which meant there was something that was keeping his plans from working. And both his plans had one common denominator. He had chosen them himself. It was time to remove the common denominator and let someone else tell him what to do to fix everything. 

Although that left the question, what did he have left that was worth fixing?

_ Fucking nothing.  _

_ Well,  _

Tucker glanced towards the ceiling as he heard footsteps padding towards the door. 

Speaking of which. 

_ Almost nothing.  _

Washington knocked lightly on the door frame, announcing his presence as to not spook Tucker.

Tucker looked up lazily at him as he sauntered into the room and stepped towards the bed; a mug of something in his hands. 

Tucker scooted back on the bed, giving Wash ample space to sit down. 

“Hey.” He greeted quietly. 

Washington smiled, looking towards him. “Good morning,” He replied. “Coffee?” He then asked, extending the mug in his hand. 

Tucker rubbed the bleariness out of his eyes as he sat up and scooted back against the hard bed frame. He nodded towards Wash, tucking his hands into his hoodie sleeves as he let his arms rest over the blankets. “Fuck yes.” He agreed, extending his hands. 

Washington passed him the mug carefully, observing for a moment as a silence grew between them. 

Tucker took a gradual sip, his eyes shooting awake from the hot liquid. “Thanks.” He mumbled, bringing the mug closer to his chest; the steam rising from the cup and warming his face as the material of the mugged seeped heat through his hands and burned his palms. 

Washington watched him for a second longer. He probably wondered whether or not he wanted to wait till Tucker woke up more to ask him about Chorus. 

That was what Tucker thought anyway.

Truth be told, he didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t mean he wouldn’t. Just that he had hoped he could go years without talking about it. Tucker had thought asking for help would be the easy part and that afterward everything would immediately get better. But here he was, an AI shaming him in the back of his mind as he sipped the tongue-burning coffee and still felt like shit. 

“How are you doing?” Wash asked, the sincerity of the question enough to make Tucker feel relieved. 

He had Wash in front of him. 

Wash, who had agreed to help him and wouldn’t dare leave him. Not because of pity but because he cared. And Tucker knew he had to stick with it because Wash there, meant things would get better because he promised. 

_He felt like shit._

“Fine,” Tucker responded begrudgingly. “Just tired.”

Washington nodded with a face communicating, ‘I noticed’ loud enough to cause Tucker to look over at the clock on the bedside table. 

_12:39 pm_

Tucker stared at the digital clock for a second longer, feeling as if the number on it was betraying him before he decided not to care and returned to the drink in his hands. 

“Sorry,” Washington told him, noticing surprise. “I wanted to let you sleep.” 

Tucker nodded, looking down at the cup in his hands and taking a sip every few seconds when the silence between him and Wash grew. 

“So,” Tucker began saying eventually. “I guess we're going back to Chorus today then?” 

Washington looked towards him. “We don’t have to right away if you don’t want to,” He told him. “This _ is _ your home.”

Tucker extended a hand to place the mug on the bedside table. “Not my home,” He said sternly. “I can leave whenever.” 

Washington nodded. “Ok, take your time if you need to.” 

Tucker pulled the blanket off of him and got up from the bed. He needed a shower. His clothes stunk, smelling of sweat and last night’s tears. 

“You probably can’t take much longer off work.” Tucker added, pulling his hoodie up over his head and tossing it to his side. 

Washington stayed seated on the bed. “I actually didn’t take time off work.” He admitted sheepishly. 

Tucker combed back his dreads with his fingers, staring back at Washington. “You didn’t tell anyone you were leaving, did you?” 

Washington shook his head no. 

“Fuck Wash,” Tucker grumbled, tugging off his shirt. “You shouldn’t have done that.” 

Washington shrugged. “It was in the heat of the moment.” He added with a contrite smile. 

Tucker laughed. “Who’s the impulsive one now?” He asked, the jolt of amusement he got causing the AIs to grow louder. 

Tucker frowned at the sudden increase of volume inside his head as he focused his attention on it his amused attitude disintegrating. 

“I must have learned it from you.” Wash joked back. 

Tucker forced a laugh, hearing what Wash had said, but too focused on the AIs to give him a genuine response. 

He needed to get in the shower before he lost it.   


Tucker headed for the bathroom, grabbing a clean set of clothes before he did. “I'm gonna shower.” He told Wash, opening the bathroom door and swiftly shutting it behind him. 

Washington nodded, hesitantly watching him descend into the bathroom as he was left alone in the room. “I’ll just um...make lunch.” He said to himself, getting up from the bed and taking a second cautious glance towards the bathroom door as he heard the shower faucet begin to run. 

* * *

“Is that it?” Washington asked, not necessarily judgmentally, but assuringly. 

Tucker nodded, leaning against the parked ship tiredly as Wash loaded his bag into the back compartment of the vessel he brought from Chorus.

Tucker had no idea what he was going to do with his own ship. To be honest, he didn’t really want to take it. It had a lot of memories in it and told a lot of stories. Not to mention, he was pretty sure chunks of blood still scattered its walls and he did steal the alien chip he used to power it. 

He also didn’t sell his apartment. Which he could tell, Wash thought wearily of that decision just by the way he acted when he told him it. 

It didn’t really matter. There was no way in hell Tucker would be selling it. For a number of reasons. None of them being because he was attached to it, but because he needed a place to fall back on in case this whole ‘going to Chorus’ thing didn’t work out. 

After all, just because Wash wanted him there, didn't mean that anyone else would. 

That was fine.

_ No, it wasn't.  _

_ Why would he go back and face everyone else when he could just stay here with Wash? _

_ Because Wash didn't want to stay with him.  _

_ He wanted to go home.  _

“Tucker?” 

Tucker looked up at him, crossing his arms over his chest as wind blew past them. “Huh?” He questioned, not having been paying attention to whatever it was Wash must’ve been saying. 

Wash went quiet, convincing Tucker that he knew he wasn’t listening as he backed away from the car and slammed the trunk shut. “You know,” He started saying as he turned to look at Tucker. “We don’t have to go back right away.” 

Tucker shook his head slightly. “No, it’s fine.” He muttered. 

He wanted to prove that he could just leave whenever. He wanted things to get better now and if Wash thought going back to Chorus would make that happen, then that was what they’d do. 

Stupid fucking piece of shit, why was it so hard to just leave?

Wash sighed, letting his shoulders drop. 

If Tucker wanted to stay longer, which he could feel he wanted to, then Wash wanted him to say so. 

But he wasn’t saying so, so Wash couldn’t truthfully call him out on it; only suggest the decision to Tucker every now and then. 

Wash nodded slowly as he pulled the keys from his pocket and rounded the front to lock the ship; leaving Tucker alone behind it. 

Tucker sighed, catching his breath and tapping anxiously on his inner arm as he waited for Wash to come back. 

God, was he doing the right thing?

Well, he knew it was the right thing, but the more important question was, did he want to do the right thing?

It’d be hard, he knew it would be and there was no definite way that going with Wash back to Chorus wouldn’t end in heartbreak somehow. 

He might not be accepted back easily or be able to blend back to who he was without tons of trial and error and Tucker didn’t know if he wanted to have to go through all the stress and disappointment to get to a reward that might not even be worth it. 

Maybe those weren’t even his own thoughts, Tucker gathered, listening in as Sigma spouted off in the back of his mind. The AI's thoughts were his and his thoughts were the AI's. He couldn’t exactly decipher who’s were who’s. It made it extremely difficult to make big decisions like this.

Tucker grumbled to himself, sure the fragments did that on purpose. 

If he couldn’t pick apart who was who in his head, it meant they were all the same person. Which gave the AIs a huge chunk of control over his head. 

Something in the back of his mind laughed. 

Might have been Sigma, probably Omega, maybe himself. Tucker had no real way of knowing. 

“Tucker?”

Tucker jumped, releasing his arms down to his side and placing a foot back behind him for support. It was close to the position he made when he was preparing for a fight. Tucker sighed, easing positioning as he saw it was only Wash. 

“Jesus,” 

“Sorry,” Wash laughed a little. “Are you ok?” 

Tucker nodded. 

_ Stupid fucking piece of shit. _

Wash swallowed the lump in his throat, following after Tucker as he began walking back towards the apartment complex. “Right, one question? What about your armor?”

“Back in the room,” Tucker explained, stepping over the curb to the sidewalk. “I figured I could just put it on before we get on the ship.”

Wash nodded, stepping up after him and opening the door to the building for him as they both stepped in. “You want to wear your armor on the ship?” He questioned. 

Tucker glanced wearily towards him and shrugged slightly; his posture tightening. “Is that ok?” He asked. 

Washington nodded. “Yea, of course. Probably safer.” He agreed. 

Tucker smiled slightly, grateful that Wash wasn’t questioning his decision. He pressed the button on the elevator, watching the doors open up, and stepped inside with Wash; ignoring the fact that he only wanted to have his armor on when he got to Chorus because he didn’t want to be seen. 

Out of all the times in his life to feel vulnerable, he didn’t want that to be one of them.

Washington would probably disagree and say it’d make him easier to talk to because if he had his armor off he’d be viewed as a person rather than a soldier, but Tucker still didn’t want to risk it.

Wash stepped towards the apartment door, stepping aside and allowing Tucker to unlock it for them both. Wash waited patiently, allowing Tucker to enter first as he followed after, shutting the door behind him. 

“I’ll start turning off the lights and stuff if you want to grab your armor,” Wash suggested, turning to look at him. 

Tucker nodded, staying remotely silent as Wash left the room. 

He stood uneasily in the middle of his apartment and bit his lip, a panicked feeling tightening in his chest and weighing on his heart. Rocking back and forth uncomfortably, he moved aside towards his living room. 

It was cleared out, for the most part, a single blanket remaining draped over the couch. 

Tucker bit his lip. Was this really the last time he’d see his apartment before returning to Chorus? 

He had the sneaking suspicion that he’d return back to it after the people of Chorus eventually kicked him out. 

Tucker wandered over to the couch, sitting down and bringing his feet up onto the cushion as he leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. 

What if he got there and no one forgave him for leaving? What if Caboose didn’t recognize him? What then? He wouldn’t dare intervene in their happy lives, didn’t want to. There was no telling if he’d be able to adjust back into their lives without them feeling as if he betrayed them. 

There was no way the AIs would allow it. 

What if he lost his mind?

Tucker glanced towards the doorway to the hall, noticing Wash standing there, a hand leaning against the doorframe. 

Wash smiled lightly as Tucker noticed him and said nothing as he stepped over, sitting down next to Tucker. He wrapped an arm around him and Tucker obliged, scooting back and laying down in his lap. 

“You’re not ready, are you?” 

Tucker shook his head.

“What if I fail, Wash?”

“I’ll help you back up and we’ll try again,” Wash told him, so sure with his answer. 

“But what if I can’t be fixed?” He then asked quietly. 

“Impossible,” Wash muttered, bringing a hand to rub his shoulder. “And it doesn’t have to be an immediate thing.” He assured. 

And Tucker kind of knew that, but he still wanted everything to get better right away. He wanted to skip to the good bit where everything would be ok. He didn’t want to have to endure all the hard parts that took time and effort and try, after try, after try only to fail.

“When you can’t run, Tucker, you crawl.”

Tucker swallowed the lump in his throat, picking at the couch under him as he cleared his throat. “And when you can’t crawl?” He questioned. 

“You find someone to carry you.”

Tucker smiled, bringing his hands up to rest on his chest as he rolled over onto his back and looked up at Wash. He dropped his smile, replacing it with a worried look as he bit his lip and took a deep breath. “Can we stay here?” He asked suddenly. “Like, just for the night.” 

Washington nodded right away, part of him thankful Tucker was now admitting he wasn’t ready. Wash liked it when he opened up to him. It meant he was progressing. “Whatever you want.” He responded with a reassuring smile. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3

Washington opened up the sturdy door to the flight deck and peered in, making a mental account of everything they had and ensuring everything was in place as he continued to mark it down on his datapad.

Tucker wouldn’t be far behind him. He was inside putting on his armor, but should be over in a minute. 

It was a little odd to be back in armor after not having it on in so long, but as always, he readjusted to the kevlar and yellow and grey striped padding quite well. He had been through enough differentiating experiences in his life for his body to just naturally adjust and adapt to change so the whole trip hadn’t been too stressful, besides, you know. Everything. 

He mainly worried about the beating he’d get from Carolina when he got back. 

Chorus had begun recovery quite well after Tucker left and the planet leaders (more like leader) were even able to reach out for help from nearby planets via communication signals and they gained materials and had scientists and engineers working on new technology. The planet finally had a chance to catch up on all the advancements they missed while they were dying off in a meaningless war. 

It didn’t mean that everything was perfect. 

But what it did mean was that they could do without Washington while he left for a few days.

It didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous about returning. 

He knew he’d be forgiven for stealing the ship. Chorus had a ton and even though it was a tester, he knew him borrowing it for a few days wouldn’t dent their evolution. And besides, it was still in perfect condition. He was careful like that.

The thing he was worried about was Carolina’s reaction because she had specifically told him to not engage. She knew there was a chance that the Mercenary talk had originally been Tucker, but she hid it from him and strictly advised against it because she didn’t see what he saw. He was more focused on him moving on while she saw a desperate person chasing after something he no longer had. 

Which was the case, but Wash wouldn’t have gone after Tucker if he wasn’t 100% sure he’d be returning to Chorus with him. 

Well, 80%

But the thing about Carolina was that Wash knew, despite everything, she was hurt by Tucker’s leaving and took a deeper offense due to her past relationship with Maine. Which meant she could be easily convinced to take him back. And that wouldn’t be hard for Wash to do since, although he hated to say it, now was the perfect time to attempt this with Tucker because they weren’t in the aftermath of a war and no longer had anything to lose by whatever the AIs could scrounge up.

Washington turned from the ship, rethinking his plan over and over, and not bothering to shut the airlock door as his armor moved over the gravel under him and shifted around the small pebbles on the dirt ground. 

He looked down at his datapad and looked through the route back to Chorus. 

Wash only stopped as he heard footsteps approach him. He looked up from the pad and stared at Tucker who stopped a few feet away from him; his armor on, but his helmet off and held at his side.

“Your armor,” Wash stated, shock in his words as he lowered the pad in his hands. 

Tucker’s face shifted nervously before forming confusion. “What?” He asked.

“It's got yellow stripes.” Wash pointed out. 

“Oh,” Tucker looked away from him, shrugging a little. “Yea, it does. They match yours.” He said, insularity to his words as he returned Wash’s eyes. 

Washington smiled fondly as he turned to head into the ship. “It looks good.” 

Tucker smiled, “Before we leave I-”

When Tucker saw that Wash was already in the ship, he stopped talking and instead, looked down at the alien chip he had been cupping in his hand. He took it from his ship the night before and had planned on giving it to Wash or maybe even Kimball because maybe they could use it, but then a nagging thought popped up into his mind.

_ “You’ll probably still need it.” _

Tucker looked away from the chip and onto the gravel dirt down below because, yea, he might still need it. He sighed, looking up at the ship as he unnoticeably slid it into the small compartment in his armor for small items. 

Washington stepped out, looking towards Tucker. “I’m still listening.” He confirmed casually. 

Tucker readjusted his position, shaking his head slightly. “Nevermind.” He said quickly, moving towards the ship. “Do you have the route ready?” He questioned, changing the subject. 

Wash nodded, stepping back on the ship. 

* * *

Carolina sighed, scanning over the movement from the northeast sector on her datapad. They had already planned on setting up a motion tracker near there since there was talk of a mercenary hanging around nearby. They further sped up the advancement’s construction a day or so later when Wash left. 

She knew what he was after and although she thought the motion detector and upped security was necessary near the abandoned city to keep track of their perimeters and who may cross them, she didn’t believe they’d be any help in finding Wash. 

The missing flightship in the Chorus lot told her that much. 

He definitely left the planet. Which absolutely convinced her that he was out of his mind.

Wash tended to make rash decisions out of desperation. She’s seen it happen more than once and there was truly nothing she could do but try to ground him and urge him away from whatever irrational thought he was chasing. 

But Wash was smart and part of her knew that he would get it out of the system whether she intervened or not. He was sensible despite his mixed mind and she knew he’d come to his senses. He had a habit of doing so when the moment arose for him to need a sharp mind.

It didn’t stop her from replying to Kimball when she asked where he might have gone with “After Tucker, where else?”

“Miss Carolina?” A newly recruited soldier piped up, a handful of papers in their hands. 

During the past year as the war ended, soldiers quit left and right, choosing to fall back into the previous profession that they had before they were forced to become a soldier. So Kimball had to recruit tons of new soldiers as old ones solemnly departed. 

“Yes?” Carolina questioned, obviously irritably as she was forced to stop what she was doing. 

“Um well I was filling out my work as you told me to, but Captain Caboose-” She paused, shifting her stance and grabbing at a loose paper that began swaying from her grasp. “I thought he was going to help me, but he just colored all over my work.” She complained anxiously as she turned a few papers in her hands around to reveal blue and red crayon strides over them.

Carolina sighed, slumping in her seat as she leaned back in the chair and dragged her hand over her face; groaning. “Bring him in here.” She drew out, watching as the Lieutenant nodded and rushed out of the room. 

The worst thing about the whole mess was that she needed Wash. He had a whole team of cadets, that although were on hiatus for a few days, would need to continue training soon as the other teams assembled with their respected captains.

Not to mention Caboose. Dear god, Caboose. 

The same guy who lit fire to the communal kitchen more times than she could count and had the heart of an elephant. 

The same guy who Church cared for his whole life. And when Church...passed, she was ready to say it now, the duty of Caboose was passed down to Tucker. 

And when Tucker left, Wash sort of slid into the position of being the blue’s caretaker. 

Caboose needed to be woken up, given his pills, made his lunch, supervised daily, and reminded to go to bed and not stay up drawing all night. 

And with Wash gone, Carolina was now in charge of the blue and she’d admit that she hadn’t been doing the best job. 

Carolina looked in front of her as Caboose stomped in, a bright smile on his face and an annoyed soldier next to him. 

“I brought him.” The soldier confirmed. 

Carolina nodded, waving her off. “You can go. Remember to keep your personal belongings under close watch.” She added, not paying much mind as the Lieutenant walked away.

Caboose looked towards Carolina as he shifted uneasily. 

Over the course of the past few days, Carolina had tried explaining several things to Caboose. Which was apparently not how Church or Tucker or Wash ever dealt with him. While they excused his behaviors, Carolina tried so damn hard to teach him why he shouldn’t engage in them. 

And it was giving her a headache.

“Caboose?” 

“Yes?”

“Did you draw on your cadet's paperwork?” Carolina asked. 

Caboose nodded. “I was helping because she did not understand how to color-code her work.” 

Carolina nodded. “But did you color on her work?” 

Caboose looked down at his shoes, shifting slightly as he nodded. “Yes.” 

Carolina sighed as she stood up and placed her datapad on the table in front of her. “That wasn’t your work, Caboose.” She chastised. 

“I know.” Caboose mumbled begrudgingly.

Carolina smiled, walking past him as he followed close behind. “Don’t do it again.” She told him sternly as he walked beside her. 

Caboose nodded frantically as someone rushed behind them. 

“Agent Carolina!!” They hollered, out of breath. 

Carolina turned to them and kept her own composure calm as noticed their's certainly was not. “What is it, soldier?”

The soldier took a deep breath before they spoke. “A Chorus vehicle is pulling up in the landing bay, no one knows who’s in it.”

Carlina turned to look towards the hall that led to the landing bay. “I’ll handle it.” She stated, quickly moving towards where the soldier entered from as Caboose tagged along.

* * *

Tucker clutched the side of his seat, looking away from Wash as he tapped anxiously on the armrest. Every familiar sight closer to Chorus made something in his heart hitch.

Wash must’ve noticed it at some point because he kept looking over to Tucker wearily and asking him if he was ok. 

Tucker nodded every time because what was he supposed to say? No, turn back, please? Couldn’t do that. Despite the disagreement from the multiple voices in his mind, Tucker knew that he needed to stop being a coward and go through with it. 

He couldn’t just turn back because he was scared to face the people he ran away from. 

No matter what Sigma thought. He couldn’t let the AI’s disappointment and assurances pressure him again. This was Tucker’s choice.

Besides, Wash seemed to be convinced that this was a good idea and Tucker couldn’t argue with him about something he so passionately believed. 

If Wash said this would help, Tucker was willing to try it out. 

Tucker took a deep breath as he glanced out of the window at the copious amounts of trees that lingered below the ship. If he glanced far enough, he could see one of the temples a few dozen miles away. 

If he remembered correctly, Chorus was only a few minutes away; considering the speed they were currently flying at. 

Tucker’s breath hitched a few minutes later as he spotted the seemingly small base located at Chorus, known as Armoria. 

Washington noticed instantly how his stance stiffened in the passenger seat and continued staring at the path in front of them as Tucker turned to look at him. 

“Wash, I don’t know if I can do this.” He said quickly, but quietly; an urgency in his voice.

Washington slowed the vehicle towards the landing bay as he outstretched a hand towards Tucker; reminding him that he was there with him. “That’s ok.” He assured, trying to keep his eyes on him, but switching to look towards the bout of concrete that was the Chorus landing deck. 

Tucker slumped down in his seat slightly as the ship came to a stop and a few people scattered out of the way as well and approached the vehicle. 

There were enough soldiers in the vehicle sector to spot the ship and although the landing dock wasn’t necessarily off-limits, it was kept pretty clear for incoming distress ships and other brought-in vehicles.

Tucker looked towards Wash anxiously as he cracked open the driver seat's door and awaited as a soldier in a shaggy camouflage uniform approached the vehicle; safety goggles covering his eyes and black gloves over his hands. 

Washington looked towards him, not getting out of the vehicle just yet. He knew how these things worked. It was considerate to wait to be checked and cleared for bombs and whatnot. It was a safety procedure to keep out unwanted visitors and was heavily enforced. 

“Name and business?” The soldier questioned, his voice rough. 

“Agent Washington. Captain of Green team.” He answered, that last bit attracting an odd look from Tucker. “I’m here to return flightship prototype 1b along with Lavernius Tucker, former Captain of Chorus and Sangheili Ambassador.” 

The  flight operations inspector  nodded. “One second, sir. Stay put.” He instructed. 

Wash nodded, turning to look over at Tucker.

“Since when are you the captain of Green team?” Tucker asked him, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Wash felt guilt pang him as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. He didn’t mean to replace Tucker, but when he left, Green team needed a captain and Kimball thought he’d be the best at it since Wash trained Tucker and Tucker trained other people as Wash had trained him. 

“Well, when you left-”

Tucker sighed, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked away from Wash. “It’s fine,” He mused dryly. “I don’t care.” 

Washington was pretty sure he did care but had little time to dwell on it as the flight worker returned. “All clear.” The soldier stated. “If you give me the keys, I’ll park it in the bay area with the rest of the ships and we can get a trolly out to bring in your stuff.” 

Wash nodded. “Thanks,” He affirmed as the soldier stepped away from the vehicle. Wash then turned towards Tucker, only turning away when he noticed Tucker wasn’t looking at him. Wash stepped out of the ship, handing the soldier the keys to the vehicle as he rounded the side of the ship towards Tucker’s side and knocked lightly at the door. 

Tucker looked over at him before begrudgingly opening it and stepping out, taking Wash’s hand for support as it was offered to him. 

“Washington!” A voice hollered behind them. 

Wash dropped Tucker’s hand, turning to look behind him as Caboose rushed over in his civics; shoes stomping quickly towards them as he gave Wash a large smile. 

Wash smiled back, stepping forward towards Caboose as Caboose grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug. A little too tight for Wash to breathe, but he’d allow it. “You’re back!” He pointed out excitedly. “How was your trip?” 

Washington stressed under Caboose’s grip, being let go of as he noticed Carolina following behind Caboose, a distressed smile on her face. “My trip was good, Caboose,” Wash informed. 

Caboose grinned at him with sharp, gleeful eyes before they darted towards Tucker who was standing easily behind him. 

“Tucker?” Caboose questioned, his face dropping into disbelief as he stared. 

Tucker bit his lip as he raised his arm and gave a small wave to Caboose. 

“You came back!” Caboose announced rushing towards him and giving him the same sort of hug he had given Wash. “I knew you would!”

Tucker stepped backwards, almost falling from the force as Washington laughed a little, looking back towards Carolina as she approached him. 

Her eyes darted between Tucker and Wash as she let her hands fall to her side. “Wash,” She started, her tone warning. 

Washington nodded, the glee he had felt earlier dissipating at Carolina’s expression. “I know.” He eased, taking advantage of the fact that Tucker was distracted with Caboose, to pull Carolina off towards the side. “I know.” He said once again, his tone hushed. “And I’m sorry for leaving without telling you and all of it.” 

Carolina nodded, listening to his apology as she smiled lightly, concern still semi-visible on her face. “I’m glad you’re back.” She affirmed, her tone soft as she glanced behind Wash. “And I’m glad you found what you were looking for, but.” She paused, sighing a little and redirecting her attention back on Wash. “But this was a bad idea.” 

Washington frowned. “I-” He halted his speech, rethinking what she had just said. “How could you say that?” 

“I know you want this, but-” Carolina paused. “You remember what happened.” She exasperated. 

Washington nodded, looking away. “Yea, I do.” He turned back to look at her. “But I really think that now that Chorus is stable, it’s an ok time to give it another try. I think this could be good for him and me.” Wash stated. “And I know deep down you missed him.”

Carolina nodded. “I do.” She offered with a nostalgic smile.”But the person who left wasn’t Tucker.”

“He can be,” Wash persisted. “And he’s already shown so much development from when he left.” 

When Carolina seemed unsure, Wash spoke again, further trying to convince her. “And you wouldn’t even have to do much,” He told her. “I’ll keep an eye on him and we can get him situated with Grey. He promised to work at it this time.” 

Carolina sighed. “Are you  _ sure _ you want to give it another go?” She asked him sternly.

Washington nodded and continued to wait for the but that never came. 

“Ok,” Carolina told him. “I’ll inform Kimball and we’ll work something out.” 

Washington smiled. “Thanks, Lina.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so remember how I said I wasn't going to continue this...
> 
> Yea, I lied. Whoops :D
> 
> Anyways, GINORMOUS shoutout to @AaronRoman who screamed back and forth with me at 1 am over this story <3 and if you haven't, you should go read their fic, Fragmented Freelancers, because holy crap, it's really freaking good.


End file.
